#I'm gonna burn the teachers name or some shit idk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

feuqueerfire · 7 months ago

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The Warp Effect Live Blogging

I've been obsessed with the idea of this show since I watched the freaking mock trailer like sooo long years ago (late 2021? early 2022? like 2 years ago bruh) and was so glad that people seemed to really like the actual show when it released, can't believe I'm finally watching it. I attempted to watch this once before but it was while I was taking a break at university and uh this is not a show I can watch in public, so I had to stop just a few minutes in and now I'm back like a year later.

Anyway, I better love it. I'm gonna lose my shit if it turns out like Be My Favourite for me (I love the mock trailer -> people love the show -> I finally watch the show and find it... fine).

Ep 1 (Apr 20)

Why am I so nervous, I almost don't wanna start it. see this is why I have so many highly praised show or shows I'm hoping to love like ITSAY and 3WBF still on my To Watch list

1-1

ah, the promise/purity ring of doom

oh he's a high school KID pls

ah, I'm so excited seeing this intro with the whole cast, I'm anticipating a lot of their roles

Is the one who found the bra his grandpa?

Alex and Ice brothers

I like their uniforms

Jan, hiiii <3 <3 <3 (name: Nim)

his face appeared on the news of the massage parlour burning ?!

hehe Nim and Jan are already dating

I'm so excited seeing Gigie and Fah and everybody ahh, it's actually been so long

Also I wish I'd watched TWE before I learned about how Fah's husband is a POS because now I'm like ah... by extension she is also a POS because you're literally marrying that man

I've been like damn why am I so excited to see all these people? I see them act all the time except no I don't because apparently I haven't watched a GMMTV show since Be My Favourite last year (other than OffGun 20 minute Love From Outta Space but that only has them). I just see some of them online, esp like FourthGemini and Phuwin. No wonder I'm like hiii~ to everybody I see pop up.

not the sex situation roleplay in front of the class. good on consent tho

i'm gonna have to relearn everybody's names later fr

Army the homophobic homosexual (actually does he like girls too fr? idk)

hah, Mark's character getting schooled for asking who tops and bottoms

not Army getting so into it T.T closeted kid... and then punching Alex oh boy

is Alex not underage or is that not like a concern bruh like even the teacher is so casual about it

free period product spiel

1-2

New and Fah (Alex and Jean) are so cute man. I'm so nervous that he... sexually assaulted her? or something nonconsensual?? like I don't remember what the issue was but he did something bad I think? it makes me so nervous because they wouldn't fucking made the main character in our sex-positive show a fucking assaulter right?

uh what does the grandfather know?

is this camera magic

I'm hungry, time for lunch, hope nothing super raunchy or gross happens while I'm eating

ah kiss

aw slap (foreshadowing for the future IMO *wink*)

1-3

hah the dildo scene

Fah you are so hot and so cool (or so I thought) why are you with your husband T.T

idk why I'm so happy seeing Alex and Jean getting it on like it's fun and it's exciting

Fah is so hot goddamn

1-4

ohhh Alex accidentally kind of saw Army with some guy (Joke?). Are both the bullies gay and hooking up? well he didn't recognize shit cuz he's drunk off his ass but yknow

he's no longer a virgin

dang, miss girl went straight into a pelvic exam. usually people like "wake up" in a different time or go from one room to another or smth lol

I have watched a couple time travel things but they've usually been to the past/deaged to teenagehood whereas this one is to the future.

Very fun 1st ep, interesting and fun and intriguing and also heart-felt.

Kinda funny that in the GMMTV subreddit on-air, people have mentioned how American it feelts (apparently a lot of the inspo for it is American which makes sense) but I have no clue about that because I haven't much American/western TV lol

Ep 2 (Apr 20)

2-1

Delightful Army who is no longer homophobic

Is this the same hospital as Vice Versa?

pls gooner See-ew

ahh, I was wondering if Ew would indeed no longer be Alex's friend

ahhh his relationship with family is now extremely distant too, I'm so curious about what happened

girl you're like 30 now, it makes sense that your grandfather might have passed away. but i do get that it's sudden and he must be like wtf i just saw him yesterday

oh also they're like Christian. the promise ring thing is in a church and there are crosses and stuff in their house too

I think I remember something about him having to fix his relationships or people he wronged or something and I guess these photos give a hint as to what?

2-2

0:49 Ew (aka Sing who also plays Todd in Not Me) says "Are you challenging me?" but him saying it in Thai reminds me of him saying the same thing/a similar thing to Black as Todd when Black came to kill him

ohh these photos are from the future?

broken promise leading to this mess

heh, Alex really went wild that night at the party ig

Ah, indeed Alex kissed Molly (we saw this in 1-3 I think)

Alex, Kat fuck buddies

2-3

Gigie is so hot

pls the way I burst out laughing at him leaving the bathroom nearly naked

the change from shy/nervous -> eager and excited

also Kat's so funny cuz she gets angry and then is like ^.^ :D like the cat smiling emoji

pls the curse not letting him have sex even in the future

Joong hi, can't wait to see him be tied up in a chair (and whipped?)

"Thank you, master" ahhhh i'm so excited for Liu and Ew and puppyplay

i'm actually not a super big of the dog mask but it's all so cute omg >.< Master feeding her dog strawberries aww and then giving a little flog for being a bad doggie but being nice to him again awww so cuteeeee he's such a cute dog

2-4

Army is so fun

so he did indeed get with Jean in between making out with other people

yay Jean director, her dream

and she's mad at him because he did smth but whattt

Ep 3 (Apr 21)

3-1

pls the way he has no doctor gyno knowledge T.T he's 17

I saw people guessing that Alex and Jean had sex that night -> Jean got pregnant -> Alex left/wanted nothing to do with that/she got an abortion and he gave no support/etc. which I think I would like more than my fears that he did something untoward

Jean and Kat convo ahh pretties and cuties i hope you are friends and don't hate each other later on

3-2

ik Ew is excited but I also want Liu to be more excited and eager and partaking in the sex toy shopping and kink play

aw she's embarrassed esp in public

okay exactly liu being like "i like it but not all the time. do you ever ask me what i actually like?"

ah her running into Jedi and Rose right in front of the store

does Alex even know how to drive

all i can think is Army's hands were probably on his dick or the other guy's dick and he's touching Alex all casually without washing hands

there's no photo of Ice but i guess he'd need to patch things up with his brother anyway

I think this is the first time I'm seeing Phuwin in a romantic role with somebody other than Pond?

Jan with a girl let's fucking go

tragic that this isn't gonna last bc Nim and this girl are cute together

3-3

I guess the best thing would've been to set up guidelines earlier in the relationship, like puppy play/BDSM is just One aspect of our relationship, not the whole thing. because it's been clear since ep 2 that Ew is more eager to play that way every time they see each other whereas Liu likes it to a lesser degree and also wants to hang out and be romantic outside of that play and also wants to be pampered sometimes rather than always domming him/taking care of him

agh it irritated me that Ew just turned on porn and got off but ig he uses it as a crutch maybe... i'm hoping it's that instead of a lack of care and affection toward Liu smh

I love Gigie's smile her sharp little incisors are extremely attractive

I'm glad Alex cut it off with Kat esp because in last ep it was mentioned that he's kind of being dishonest with her since he's not... exactly who he says he is

3-4

Oh, that's Ice's girlfriend Kim? Jean and her work together?

I loveee Jean's colour-block jacket

a little lesson on doing a pelvic exam for someone with a vagina

ah Alex and Jean in the same room again i'm so excited but nervous

I'm nervous For Jean bruv

you didn't do the cotton thing before inserting the speculum Alex

ah, they fr had sex that night

Ep 4 (Apr 21)

4-1

Army is so funny and endearing. i'd be curious to know his reaction when Alex finally tells him about the time travel

Are we getting Thor's character finally or not yet? anonymous face

oof Bew and Nim's future plans look pretty different

and the pregnant Nim photo is manifesting

bruh obviously Ew dresses up and plays a little dog lmfao

damn they're actually talking about puppy play

girl that's not Thor, that's a baby! I just remembered that I think I knew about this? about Fluke's character accidentally meeting up with an underage guy

pls 2005 liner (in 2022)

i am aware that playing football is an euphemism. is it for masturbation? just being horny?

I found out about Fluke Pusit's new BL which is apparently the fucking Your Dear Daddy that had me icked out from the title agh but like... I like him in this and wanna see him in a BL as a main lead so I might still check it out since the synopsis doesn't seem too bad. It'll still be many months perhaps over a year or two until it comes out though... not even a pilot trailer yet. will they get the budget and talent necessary for the show? Who knows...

4-2

Ah, Joe and Army also had a falling out and aren’t in contact, rip

I think it's Army's baby based on that one tiktok where Army and Nim are talking about the kid having gay and lesbian parents

non-binary Molly!!!!

i can’t quite tell how we’re supposed to feel about Joong’s character Tony tbh

ohh that’s how the Joong tied up in a chair by Sylvie scene comes to be, it’s part of their movie acting.

i watched the first few minutes of this on the train lol

Damn, what's up with Jean :< is it really just bad cramps or something serious?

4-3

pls Ice's friends are losers (or maybe just that specific dude)

oh the moaning while Ice and Kim are having sex threw me off

did Kim even have fun? USELESS

okay she's saying she had fun, though I wish she seemed more into it while they were actually doing the act. Orgasms aren't always necessary but it should still be fun

Kim is so fucking hot bruh

"Let's do it raw" well i'm so glad it was Phuwin playing Ice and not me bc I would've embarrassed myself on that set

ah, Army can still think fondly of his time hooking up with Joe and get off to it lol

Anyway, at least it seemed like Kim was gonna have more fun in round 2 but i want that for her every time they have sex

4-4

Kat and Jean on one screen is always so heart eyes

Army, what are you apologizing forrrr

pouty Army is so cute bruh

pls the argument while Army's jacking Joe off

the handjob that leads to forgiveness

well I'm glad they didn't get caught cuz I was nervous lol

The people I find incredibly attractive in this show are: Jean, Kat, Kim, and Army lmfao

Ep 5 (Apr 21/22)

5-1

Army reminiscing about the high school days when he and Joe hooked up lol

ah, Army has the photo he took of Alex and it shows Alex in the future in a doctor coat

hilarious that Alex is just a good, knowledgable gyno now lmfao

finally Army learns about the time travel

oof, Alex running into Kat and Jean at the club

the way he leaned over Jean freaked me out fr

correct that you can revoke consent at any time etc but maybe also say that if you're gonna bring a random person home from the bar, be clear about expectations before leaving the bar/coming home

5-2

he can't even get off when he masturbates?

Ew's animosity toward Army lol

Mollie lead role!

idkkkk Nim doesn't seem to be want to be pregnant and doesn't seem to like kids, I don't want her to have a baby when she doesn't want one

ouch, Mollie-Nim-Bew meet

the pilot guy is sleazy, Kat run away

5-3

wait we're not doing any more puppy play? :( did Liu really not like it at all?

Aghh we're only doing extremes of puppy play every time y'all meet vs no puppy play ever... what about a happy middle?

Ouchhh the public humiliation and body shaming, this is the hardest storyline in the show to watch for me so far

5-4

yay mollie

ohhh the photo of mollie changed cuz they overcame their problem ig? w alex's help once the photo happened

Kinda surreal to watch Molly be played by Sylvie who is attractive and, despite not being stick thin, also not fat

I barely watched anything on the 22nd and yesterday the 23rd was all about GMMTV 2024 Part 2, so I'm Finally starting the next ep today

Ep 6 (Apr 24)

6-1

Okay I got too nervous waiting to watch what Alex did so I read in the comments that he didn't use a condom because he was so drunk. It's terrible but I feel better knowing what it was that he did before seeing it

eughhh they're so drunk

oh ew that's... horrifying. to have her actually say wait and stop multiple times while he... doesn't

that's actually fucked fr

the look of horror and realizing on Jean's face and then the tear...

why is Alex fucking smiling?! how dare he

aw shucks everybody gonna know and the rumours are getting bigger

not Alex just going with Jedi while leaving Ew behind

Incredible that this guy who traumatized Jean is now just at the top of the school pyramid I actually can't believe my worst fears were real and Alex ignored Jean's multiple attempts to push him off while she says stop

6-2

the Jean and Molly convo is interesting. I understand Jean more because you can't just go around kissing people while in a monogamous relationship just to check if you're into it or not but I understand that Molly's also unsure of what they actually like, especially because it seems like they were probably grappling with being nonbinary back then and haven't yet chosen that term for themselves yet

I think breaking up is the right thing to do in this situation

Kat dropping big hints that she knows Army likes boys lol at least she's breaking up with him easy

Army has armpit hair which is normal but rare in EA/SEA shows it feels like? idols are clean shaven/lasered

Army's so annoying lol conceited but a cutie so I can't even disagree

conflicted because hah gay locker room handy is fun but also... part 1 sex was horrific

oh naur they're gonna get caught?

noooooo Army throws Joe under the bus?!

6-3

nosy ass grandpa

Ice is 13? lmfao. so he's 23 in the future ig

we should kill Alex first not stopping when Jean told him to and now abondoning Ew at Army's suggestion

heh Ew liked the slap

oh In Love by Gamma Skies, I think this was in a Bad Buddy playlist but I couldn't remember it being used in the actual show

Kat and Jean smoking in the balcony aghh I want at least 1 kiss between them plsplspls (but not right now when Jean is just newly traumatized :()

agh Jean labeled as a slut for sleeping with Alex (and dancing on the table in her bra) while Alex becomes the top dog for presumed to sleep with 3 girls (+ kiss Army lol)

6-4

I read the comments first because I know apparently Jean's photos in her bra from that party are gonna be plastered on the wall and aghh... Alex is gonna be useless and treated well while Jean is gonna be called an attention seaker and also suspended ?! and people in the comments were saying people shouldn't say that Alex did nothing wrong, how the fuck are there comments saying he didn't do anything wrong omg??!!

punishment for WHAT?!

Jean isn't quite yelling at Alex for the things she wants to yell at him about so I guess that's why the comments that apparently defended him may have thought she was treating him unfairly but it's like... it's hard to say you might not fucking remember but you didn't use a condom and didn't fucking listen to me while i told you to stop repeatedly you jackass and now they're all ruining my life

this fucking Alex/Jean montage i'm so mad T.T

and Army needs a fucking punch too

Alex is soooo aghhhh why is he literally going to Jean's house (!!!) and saying sorry but also repeatedly being like "Can you forgive me?" like girl wtf how can you expect forgiveness this easily by saying it was your fault a decade later smhh

ahhh horrible. good episode in the sense that it's well-crafted and makes sense but truly what the fuck

I get that Alex was drunk and so ignored Jean while we assume he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't drunk but truly... what the fuck? Being drunk doesn't mean you get a free get out of jail card to violate consent. The show nor the audience seem to use the word rape but that's what it was, right? I don't want them to get back together in the end man...

And also the Army-Joe thing... idk, throwing Joe under the bus...

Also I think I won't look at warp effect tumblr posts anymore... idk, I kinda don't care to read about people's thoughts on it because it's already tiring to watch the show, much less read people's thoughts on it. Might seek out specific gifsets if I really want one though.

Ep 7 (Apr 25)

7-1

lol everybody having fun while Alex can't orgasm

Liu's boss... ew

Rose and Jedi are cute heh

plss not Jedi being one of the men who wants their gf/wife to go open relationship but then is jealous she's is getting more partners and having fun and such

I'm glad we get kissing and sex with with Jedi and Rose because I swear so many times when trans actresses are cast, they either get no romance or very chaste romance with hugs at most

aw shucks, I'm guessing Jedi's dick hurting is gonna lead to the hospital visit in Alex's photo

7-2

oh also, ig I didn't think about the fact that Nim would have to marry whoever she has a kid with?

heh quick decision to have a freaking child

I'm also not sure Nim having a child is even the right decision

New looks soo attractive in the bar scene

I love Alex trying to mend the relationship with Ice

ewwww not Captain asking Kat to be his gf in public with flowers and such. It puts pressure on the one being asked, I hateeee it when people ask such questions in public and then the asker might get angry at being humiliated. I'm glad Kat stood her ground but I'm afraid he's gonna retaliate, esp since he's a pilot where she is a flight attendant

7-3

It makes me so nervous fr when they do anything in public

oh crazy, we're having the not orgasming talk but for a gay couple this time

a little PSA about positions

omg Joe is a side? doesn't like penetration possibly? because he liked the handjobs

Joong's character and Jean are cute man, idk I hope he's not sleazy

ah, Molly and Nim scenes once again

aw man Ew is going to meet the bunny domme

it's cute how excited he is but helloo you're meeting a woman behind our gf's back + camera?!

oh no he's wearing the outfit he gets arrested in

ah cops

you can get arrested for creating porn in thailand?

7-4

Ew begging Liu to stay is still more about himself and how she's the only one who understands him and gave him a chance rather than about her. But the story gets that I think because Liu says that in their relationship she has tried to be what's needed for Ew but Ew hasn't done the same.

ah shit not the captain beating up Kat, that fucker

Ep 8 (Apr 25)

8-1

poor Kat

aww Jean and Kat <3

girl, imagine if you had indeed accepted him, he's a fucking asshole, you'd be in a mess either way

yesss you two should date

I don't even know how to feel at Jean and Alex conversations, like it's not cool or chill dude, just shut upp

In the ep 7 r/gmmtv on-air, somebody mentioned that maybe... Army sleeps with another guy/cheats on Joe (esp if they're not on the same page sexually) and that's why it's a polaroid with the other guy's identity hidden? made me sooo nervous, I don't want that to be true plsss I just thought it'd be because Joe is closeted and so we can't see his face

plsss not Army's rant to Alex about Joe not bottoming

ah, Kim is pregnant and I'm guessing Nim is/will be too. I hope one of them gets an abortion for the storyline here

bruh, Bew was flighty from the jump but also Nim really shouldn't have gotten IVF done so quickly and easily with little though

bruh fuck Bew

8-2

plsss Alex going to Joe to talk about his and Army's sex life is sending me fr

side Joe! and they're fr talking about it!

Ah, Mollie and Nim :(

I really hope Kim ends up having an abortion. She and Ice can make another baby in the future when they're older and more stable and ready

Aw, Ice is sweet but I still don't think they should have a baby when neither is ready

Alex randomly there to help Kat lol

damn, Captain got put in jail, that's good

8-3

I hope Tony's just a nice, regular guy

pls Army being like yep my partner is soo satisfied with my performance to his patient

lol multi-activity full package outercourse

uh... is Kat developing feelings for Alex/I thought she had feelings for a while tbh

oh, Alex talking about Jean in his sleep rip

I hope Jean and Kat don't become enemies, that's my only wish

8-4

I love Joe and Army so bad wtf

Kat and Army's photos now fixed

Ep 9 (Apr 26)

9-1

okay Jedi mentioned always using protection

oof, not them fighting over the HPV

Rose is trans and didn't have bottom surgery so how tf did they have sex so easily in the kitchen that one time lmfao

pls not Ice singing about their child in this club setting

Kim shouldn't be drinking but Ice shouldn't be picking fights with strangers like that and escalating situations either

okay finally abortion mention

Ice let go of your fucking pride for like one second

9-2

hehe Sylvie and Joong scenes

not both Mollie and Jean falling for Tony's charms

okay Alex giving Ice good advice about supporting Kim's decision for an abortion. I wish somebody would also mention that they can just... have a child a couple years down the line

i wonder where we're going with the HPV storyline?

9-3

stop meeting at Joe's workplace I beg

STOP YELLING !!!

why is that man taking a video aghhhh Armyyyy i'm gonna kill you and also that man

ah, Nim and Molliee

ohh Nim's photo went back

not the flight attendant roleplay plss

I'm dying at Rose and Jedi's relationship where they're in an open relationship and flirt with people but never sleep with any of them even though the other one thinks they do lmfao

okay glad Kat didn't just get over Captain's assault and that it still affects her. but she's not portrayed as week for still being affected because it's literally such a big thing

Jedi and Rose are sooooo cute what the hell

not the scent callback

Jedi/Rose cutiesss

9-4

omg Kat and Tony?

Tony is suchhh a flirt that it's fun to see him be taken back by Kat's extremely forward pursuit

so is Tony... supposed to be just a nice, normal guy fr? I hope he is

Rose and Jedi are actually so cute like I'm dead

okay so it's stronger and stronger hinting that Jean was indeed pregnant after that party

oh no, Liu and her fuckass boss creep next ep

I liked how cute Jedi and Rose were but I feel like why introduce the open relationship aspect at all then? Like if they needed to have it, they could've treated it with more nuance and have them actually participate in the open part of their relationship. idk i was like, the lesson isn't that "people in love can't do open relationships" right?

Ep 10 (Apr 26)

10-1

director and main actor dating? and also Tony asking her in public like this too? Captain flashbacks smh

girl, dancing?! omg why is this too much for me, too much public stuff

let's kill Liu's boss

aghhh, they found out about Joe being gay

10-2

Alex barging in and confronting the boss like that in front of everybody. I hate these men's need to publicly "defend" women and confront/fight men without actually asking the women they're defending what they want because this has consequences

had to work really hard to get into the comedy mindset for this sexual harassment storyline because usually... the serious topics are treated serious idk

pussy eating, let's go

oof, Mollie and Nim fight once again

I get Joe so much and it frustrated me that Army doesn't quite understand how much trauma Joe has because of his actions (similar to his bff Alex in that way who just jokes around with Jean as if he didn't fucking rape her)

and what about the puppy play? we doing that still? cuz idk if Ew can do with it?

Ah, Jean and Kat convo about Alex. I'm glad it wasn't messy

10-3

oof, no Kim, you did the right thing

there is no need to feel bad for Ice because he can have a baby couple years down the line if he still wants it after he's more settled

okay he finally mentioned that they can have a kid when they're ready

erotic foot massage, loll yas (+ a little servant roleplay?)

i'm so glad they're communicating, never been so happy to see erotic foot massage and puppy play

omg Jedi proposing (and this time the public proposal feels okay like it doesn't feel like pressuring Rose)

Jedi and Rose are sooo cute. maybe the fact that they have the least screentime & so the least conflict helps with that

10-4

I'm nervous

ooh, a Tony and Jean kiss

this is so fucked uppp, my poor Jean T.T

glad Tony turned out to be actually decent

Once again, I'm hoping Alex/Jean isn't endgame

polaroid photo of Alex's mother and Teacher Saran?

Watched most of this at 1.25x speed tbh

Ep 11 (Apr 26)

I'm really enjoying the show but I must be honest... I'm also kind of dreading it and just want to be done... The Alex & Jean is honestly A Lot for me and idk if they can handle it well and I'm not looking forward to Joe-Army and Mollie-Nim's conflicts either. I kinda wanna just knock out the last 2 episodes by tonight though because I just wanna be doneee

It'll be 1.25x speed for the rest of the show I think. I managed to watch the first 9 episodes at regular speed though

11-1

Ah, Alex's bio dad is actually their gym/sex-ed teacher

damn, we're going so fast with this storyline

dang, more than his mother, his father was the reason for the time travel with the camera gift

Tony and Kat could be cute

pls not the "what if I get dragged by your fans" mentioned

I get that Nim shouldn't have been so callous with Mollie by saying they can be friends but Nim literally had 1) Mollie kiss another boy while they dated and 2) had Bew walk out her while pregnant. I feel like her not opening up or easily trusting Mollie to be a good partner and parent makes sense

Mollie could've just said the stuff nicely as a confession instead of a fight

11-2

let's go Joe (incredibly easy fix for something serious though lol)

I don't get the point of the kicking crossbar thing but sure, ig Joe and Army have made up

girl okay wtf is this promposal from Alex to Jean, idkkkk I'm just not into it

glad Jean didn't say yes

11-3

aw, Jedi/Rose wedding

Army-Joe dance too, Joe overcoming his shyness

no way Ew is proposing right here smh

Tony and Kat are cute too, even if it's all going fast cuz the show's ending ig

I want Jean to be able to speak to somebody openly and honestly about being raped by Alex (like that's literally what it was), whether it be a therapist, a close friend, fucking confronting Alex, idc but it feels like Alex doesn't even give it the weight it deserves, idk

Alex requesting for Jean to get back with him like literally why bro just let the girl be, I beg

11-4

literally, like just let her live her life instead of fucking inserting yourself so boldly, and often so jokingly. i get that you wanna fucking climax and also go back to the future but it's so frustrating to have him want to get back with her romantically out of selfish desire instead of at least helping her altruistically

This is so devastating, I don't fucking want them together fr

omg, her telling him to go back to the past

I guess he's gonna go back in time and do things differently. I'm just glad that in this scenario with how things have played out, in this timeline how original Alex lived, Jean can't forgive him or get together with him. So I'm partially getting what I wanted.

Also interesting parallel with Alex's father who Alex is now refusing to give a second chance, to come into his life, because he fucked up big time as well and there's just no coming back from that to suddenly be a good dad or being involved with Alex's life.

Also, people in the YT comments or on reddit who are acting like "ohhh Alex didn't know, he can't be held accountable for that night/for not knowing about the pregnancy, Jean should've told him yada yada", fuck you like actually. She was a young woman who was raped by somebody she deeply trusted (idc that he was young and drunk and it was "unintentional" - doesn't undo what he did), then ostracized by the school while he was put on a padastal (and left his other friends to follow his popularity), then suspended, then found out she was pregnant at a time when abortion was illegal. It makes plenty of fucking sense to me that she didn't go and tell Alex what happened. It's not even like she was doing anything to Alex in the current timeline, he's the one who keeps inserting himself into her life and pursing her romantically despite her saying no multiple times (parallels?).

Ep 12 (Apr 26)

I don't really feel like watching this ep but I will because I just wanna be done bruh

1.5x speed idc

12-1

please Alex going around and being elated toward Grandpa and Ice who are like ?? lol

omg this is so funny as he gives everybody the advice they need 10 years in the future

12-2

bro there is noooo way they're gonna give Jean's iconic dildo defense rant to fucking Alex

bro you just went on a time travelling mission that taught you about your mistakes when you were drunk this night at this party, c'mon don't drink bruh

12-3

not the Liu-Ew and Jedi-Rose making out competition

Joe-Army have had more sex in public places than in private in every timeline

12-4

pls not the time jump again when he orgasms

Honestly, a pretty fun end and kind of makes me less upset at the other stuff. Like I'm still intellectually upset at it when I think about it, but I'm on a high from the fun stuff, so it doesn't feel as terrible as when I finished ep 11.

Overall:

A unique and enjoyable show, it was so fun to see all these characters in their specific situations and how they deal with them. The characters were all compelling, it's wild how I was into all their storylines. how charming each character/their story was, and how the story juggled them. It also made me see a bunch of actors in new lights, New most of all, as they acted in a role outside of their usual wheelhouse.

I think the most frustrating part for me was how it seemed like although they were getting at it, they never quite acknowledged that what Alex did to Jean that night was rape. It made me quite angry actually, especially how Alex's actions didn't feel like it actually took Jean's feelings and trauma and requests into account. I was at least glad that in that timeline, Jean doesn't get back with Alex.

Rating: 7/10

#the warp effect #ep by ep commentary

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synonymroll648 · 2 years ago

Note

I'm just gonna rant here for a sec sorry about that:

I'm like weirdly excited today for no reason at all :D

And idk if I told you (my memory sucks) but I'm doing a Halloween event thingy and I'm kinda nervous but excited for it?? I think it might help me get back into writing and hopefully will give me some inspiration with my Fitz fic (that's fun to say lmao)

Anyways I hope you have a lovely day or night <3

i'm glad you're excited!! and good luck with your halloween event thingy!!! inspiration is lovely, we love inspiration <3

this is. very sweet of your to say. but for the most part your hopes were dashed because my day was kind of shitty. putting my ranting under the cut because i just need to get it out, but i care about strangers on the internet to not forcefully clog up their dashes with it. you're welcome. (but also if you scroll past my ranting you can see pictures of my science teacher's axolotl. just saying.)

i went into fake it until you make it mode about not being sick and convincing my mom i was fine was a little bit stressful but not too bad. school itself was kind of a fucking nightmare. i walked in and almost immediately found out that i'd missed out on even more work than online backup courses had told me i'd missed, from finding out math had gone faster than i'd thoght it had and finding out there'd been an english quiz no one had told me about. almost had a breakdown in math because i'd missed five lessons in the four days i was gone. and math is my hardest class. art i was being a perfectionist over a simple drawing assignment and making it harder than necessary and stewing about family issues because my brain is fun. the only part of my lunch i got to eat during the lunch period was my sandwich, which i scarfed down while waiting to get my coffee before going to my math class to work on shit i'd missed with my teacher. ate only some of my pretzels during my social studies class because that teacher's nice about snacks. found out i wasn't as behind as i thought i was in that class, which was good. science my teacher wasn't there and there was a sub instead so i couldn't ask the questions i needed to ask to catch up on a lab assignment the class had done while i was out sick, and ultimately didn't end up finishing the assignment that the rest of the class started and finished that day (it'll be easy to finish, but still). english was ultimately one of the easiest classes that day because i found out that the two assignments i need to finish in that class have lax deadlines, but it still sucked a lot because i got teamed with a guy that was super disruptive and making it SUPER FUCKING DIFFICULT to maintain my sanity and get work done. i'm a pretty chill person most of the time, but i was literally this close to picking up my metal water bottle and smacking this guy who thinks we're good friends even though i kind of despise him as hard as i fucking could with it because of how much he irritated me, suspension be damned. and my best friend that was there for all the days i'd been sick wasn't there the day i finally got back, and i'd been looking forward to seeing them again, so that sucked. and another good friend was there but i couldn't talk to it very much, which sucked because by the end of the day i just really wanted to ask for a way-too-long hug because i was in that mood of 'do i want to disappear from existence where my problems can't find me or do i want to burn the world to ashes?'. and now i'm back from school and just got done with HOURS of going through math homework that has bludgeoned my brain into a zombie state (which would've beat me up worse if my mom hadn't helped me so much, so shoutout to my mom for being an angel.)

BUT. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THAT I AM CLINGING TO LIKE A FUCKING LIFELINE. I FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY SCIENCE TEACHER'S AXOLOTL. HIS NAME IS GANDALF AND HE'S SEVEN YEARS OLD AND HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE.

#i'm sorry i would image descriptions but i am. way way way too tired. could literally fall asleep rn #ask #cherryys-stuff

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lailarain · 4 years ago

Text

Spoilers for TBHK

TW: Mentions of s3xu@l åss@ult/@buse, $uicidə and bl00d

Episode 1:

I just finished episode 1 of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun(Weird title, I know), and I just have to say...

I love Hanako and Nene and I will protect them both with my life��

Episode 2:

WOAH Hanako wyd😳

I kinda ship Hanako and Nene tho lol don't attack me

AYO THERE'S AN EYE UNDER YOUR DESK

Wait did Hanako steal her books or was it that eye thingy🤨

The title spelt faires wrong

OH SHOOT THE SCALES

Wait NO DON'T FALL FOR IT NENE IT'S BAIT

YES MA BOI HANAKO TO THE RESCUE

Wait are Yousei from japanese legend, like yokai or oni?

Okay I DEFINITELY SHIP THESE TWO

Wait why does Hanako look kinda said when she says that

awwww Hanako🥺

Wait what is he talking about who was his friend before

Nene is awesome istg🥺

WAIT WHO IS THE BLONDE DUDE WHY IS HE LOOKING FOR HANAKO NO

"I wish a hot guy who fall out the sky for me that way" girl Hanako is literally RIGHT there

Omfg this orange hair f-boy🤨

Wait WASN'T THAT THE NAME OF HER CRUSH

Hanako just standing there like 😐

WAIT NO LEAVE HANAKO ALONE

He tried to not swear in front of her lol

HOLDUP MA PRECIOUS BABY BOI DID NOT MURDER SOMEONE WTF

HOW DARE HE SAY THAT NO ONE WANTS HANAKO AROUND

Jesus Hanako is so cute lol

I honestly can't tell if hanako is an owo boy or a bruh boy istg

OKAY CAN SOMEONE TELL WHO THIS WEIRD RADOI LADY IS AND WHY SHE KEEPS SHOWING UP AT THE END OF THE EPISODE

Episode 3:

(That one part in the intro) Step-yellow sillouette, what you doing😳

For real tho Hanako looks pretty scared during that part of the intro why are they biting his ear(maybe Hanako was a victim of s3xu@l assault?)

Wait isn't Hanako the 7th of the 7 Wonders

Okay that's kinda gross😟

Okay Aoi is pretty sweet😌

WAIT NO AOI SHE WAS TOO PRECIOUS

NO AOI BETTER NOT BE GONE

NO NOT THE BLOOD

What is she talking about he's not hot at all🤨

OH SHOOT IS HE A GHOST

Okay can minamoto leave Hanako alone🙄

Awww Hanako is half hto and half cute I might be a simp

OKAY WOAH THIS PLACE IS COOL

I mean Hanako has a good point😳

NO DON'T ANSWER IT

OKAY WOAH DON'T ASK SOME HIGH SCHOOLER TO GO COLLECT YOUR BODY PARTS NOPE

Okay WOAH how old are you exactly, Hanako?

Okay this fantasy is making me uncomfortable😀

Girl, you're already cute. You don't need to be a Miu Iruma lookalike to find love

THE BOOBS LMAOO😭😭😭😭😭

Awwww Hanako being sweet to Nene🥺

YES HANAKO SAVING THE DAY

Wait why didn't she answer his question🤨

Wait who WAS making those phone calls?

WAIT THE EPISODE IS ALREADY OVER?!?!?!?

Episode 4:

Okay but for real WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE YELLOW SILHOUETTE AND HANAKO IN THE INTRO?!?!?!

Wait I just noticed that in the part with the yellow silhouette, Hanako is tied up with rope😳

Okay here's my theory:

When Hanako was alive, he was a student at the school. He was s3xu@lly a$$aulted in the bathroom, and muđəred his attacker out of anger/mental instability, therefore cursing him to the bathroom he was assaulted in. He became a ghost to make up for his sins.

Idk I could be totally off-base

HOLY FUCK IT'S A HEAD

IT'S THE BODY LMAOOO

Wait she actually likes it🤨

HOLY SHIT EWWWWWW

WAIT WHAT NO NOT AOI

WHAT THE FUCK NOOOOOO NOT AOI

WAIT YES AOI ISN'T DEAD

Hanako is so sweet istg.

HANAKO REALLY JUST PUSHED HER OFF THE EDGE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH AJAGRKEBDUDBD

Can she not spell or something🤨

WAIT WAS THE GHOST A STUDENT OF MISAKI

Wait she had a crush on her teacher that's so gross

Oh no. The student didn't know Misaki was murdered🥺

WAIT NO THIS IS SAD

OH SHOOT THAT IS DARK

aww she misses the teacher🥺

YES HANAKO MY BOY

WAIT HANAKO NO HE'S HURT

Nene is really fed up😳

WAIT WHAT NO SHE'S GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!

Awwww poor girl🥺

Why'd she have to die😭

Little Fox is mean😑

WAIT DID HE JUST KISS HER YES BABY

WAIT WHO'S THAT GREEN-HAIR GIRL

HE FORGOT ABOUT MINAMOTO LMAOOO😭

Episode 5:

Okay BUT WHO IS GRABBING HANAKO IN THE INTRO ISTG

LMAO SHE WAS FANTASIZING😭😭😭

Okay but she's SO pretty with her in a braid

Are you sure there was NOTHING good about that😏

YES AOI MY GIRL GIVING HER GOOD ADVICE

But I doubt Hanako would admit it

WAIT DID HANAKO PLANT THAT TREE OR AM I PARANOID

I'm excited to see how THIS plays out😁

HANAKO WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY

WAIT IS HE REALLY GONNA DO IT

WAIT ARE THESE BITCHES GAYYYYYY

Wait what if the tree curses people

GIRL ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HANAKO ISN'T HOT AS IS!?!?!?

WAIT YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS SO COOL

WAIT WHAT'S THE CATCH

Of course he didn't actaully mean it THIS SUCKS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S HOLDING HER I REPEAT HE'S HOLDING HER

poor Nene

WAIT OH NO SHE'S CRYING

WAIT DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE HER

HE'S BLUSHING WHAT

YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSS

WAIT HE'S RIGHT THERE

I was right they have the same last name!

WAIT THIS BITCH BETTER NOT COME BETWEEN HANAKO AND NENE

CAN THIS BITCH SHUT UP

TERU STOP IT RN

Okay I kinda feel bad for Kou rn🥺

HOW IS HE ANY OF THOSE THINGS

Wait who is that girl🤨

YES I WANNA FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HANAKO

THE GREEN HAIR GIRL AND NATSU-SOMETHING ARE UP TO NO GOOD I CAN FEEL IT

Wait WHY WAS HANAKO SMILING

I have a bad feeling about this.

Episode 6:

Yeah Hanako really seems like the good guy🤨

WOAH what's up with the door?

I love the Mokkes🥺

It's her book😶

WOAH OKAY THEN SHE REALLY IS IN LOVE

WAIT WHY IS THERE BLOOD

HOLDUP HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT

HANAKO MA BOI

WOAH OKAY YES HE'S HOLDING HER

DID HE JUST EAT THE BUTTERFLY

God I love Hanako

WAIT YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL THE WHAT NOW

Ooooooo I wanna heae some juicy secrets😏

Girl, that secret wasn't juicy at all🙄

Wait what does the library ghost know🤨

SAY SOMETHING HANAKO YES

He's so cute tho

BUT I LOVE DONUTS TOO HOW IS THAT JUICY

HANAKO YOU WERE LOOKING REAL PROTECTIVE OF HER THEN😏😏😏

I feel bad for Nene because they keep saying her legs are fat, as if the boys that say that are gonna get any better. NENE IS A FREAKIN CATCH😤😤😤

Wait what is he talking about Hanako😶

WAIT HE IS TALKING ABOUT HANAKO, ISN'T HE

WAIT HANAKO WAS HIS STUDENT HE'S SO CUTE

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

WAIT HANAKO ISN'T EVEN HIS NAME!??!?!? IT'S YUGI?!?!?!?

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Wait, so did Hanako commit $uicidə, or am I just paranoid?

Wait so that means that happened on the day of July 15, 1969.......SO HOW OLD IS HANAKO AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

WAIT SO HE NEVER GOT HIS DREAM TO COME TRUE BECAUSE HE DIED THAT'S SO SAD

Wait so am I right DID HE REALLY COMMIT $UICIDƏ ?!?!?!?

I THINK HANAKO SMELLS A SNITCH

Man this is a lot to unpack for just one episode

Episode 7:

I love how childish Hanako is

WAIT I SAW THE YELLOW SILOUETTE THING AGAIN AND I HAVE A THOUGHT:

What if Hanako got those bruises because of the səxua| ass@ult thing I said before? That would make sense.

Idk maybe I'm just too obsessed with that theory

I see Hanako differently after the Library too, but in a different way.

What why the donuts?

He's totally lying. I bet he's gonna make some for Hanako🥺

Okay but Kou is actually pretty sweet

I mean, if he DID murder someone who bullied him, they had it coming for touching my precious Hanako😤

Yous shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because it's complicated. ALL friendships are complicated. It isn't supposed to be easy.

Awwww Nene🥺🥺🥺

Okay I'm kinda hungry for donuts now

Ugh it's Teru🙄

Okay KOU YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL

Okay Teru YOU SUCK SO MUCH

SO ARE THE GREEN HAIR AND NASTU-SOMETHING BIY EVIL OR NOT I'M SO CONFUSED

Hanako is so cute sometimes istg

POOR HANAKO OOF

YES NENE😤😤

THEY ARE BLUSHING I REPEAT THEY ARE BLUSHING

"You're totally not my type" okay first of all that is bullshit and second of all get yourself a boy who's chill when you say you don't like them

OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON

HE'S GOLDING HER

Wait why does Hanako look terrified that's not good

HOLDUP WHO DID HE KILL WHY IS THERE AN AD RIGHT WHEN IT'S ABOUT TO SAY WHO HE KILLED

WOAH WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE HANAKO WHAT IS GOING ON AHDVEKDVEIDVDJ

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS FACE THIS GUY TOTALLY $EXU@LLY @SSAULTED HIM

YES NENE PROTECT YOUR MAN

HOLY SHIT HE'S BURNING

DID HE REALLY JUST RE-TRAUMATIZE HANAKO AND THEN LEAVE?!?!?!?

WAIT WHAT IS HANAKO DOING

WAIT HE'S CRYING

HANAKO WHAT'S WRONG

I WANNA GIVE HANAKO A HUG SO BADLY ISTG

WAIT SO THERE'S THE ONES CHANGING THE RUMORS?

OKAY WHO IS THIS BITCH

Wait THAT'S HIS BROTHER WHY DID HE KILL HIS BROTHER

This partially denies the possiblity of my theory(MOSTLY denies it), but not entirely. There's a big chance I'm wrong.

WAIT SO SAKURA IS THE ONE DOING THE RADIO THING?!?!?!

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

I have a feeling that that is probably jsut a random student😅

Hanako, I hate it when you're sad😭😭😭

WAIT SO HIS EARRING WAS FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY THE WHOLE TIME LMAOOOOO

OKAY WOAH BACK UP GHOST-PERSON

KOU IS NOT A M0ŁƏ$TER

Wait that was the whole episode?

Episode 8:

Okay the person @ssaulting(maybe even $exua||y @$$aulting idk I think I'm just obsessed with that theory) in the intro is definitely his brother

Mitsuba is kinda weird and annoying, but also funny at the same time

Excuse me Traffic safety is no joke😐

WAIT SO HE KNEW MITSUBA AND JUST FORGOT?!?!?!?

Awwww Mitsuba🥺🥺🥺🥺

No Mitsuba you're cool

KOU WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING

AWWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET

MITSUBA I SEE YOU BLUSHING😏😏😏😏

MITSUBA NOOOOOOOOOO

TSUKASA STOP IT

NO POOR MITSUBA STOP IT

HOW DARE THEY

NOOOOOO MITSUBA AAAAAAAA

OKAY IMA BOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH TSUKASA, WHO'S WITH ME😤😤😤😤

TSUKASA YOU SICK SEDUCER STOP LYING TO MITSUBA

NOOOOOOOOO MITSUBA

POOR HANAKO LEAVE HIM ALONE TSUKASA

Okay "Let's play together like we used to" really sounds like $exu@l @$$ault

Kou🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

NO THIS ISN'T THE WAY MITSUBA SHOULD GO OUT NO

I'm am so close to crying rn

OH KOU JUST REALIZED WHAT HE WAS TAKING A PHOTO OF AWWWWW

Okay wow all of that really happened in one episode

Episode 9:

I'm sorry that I won't shut up about my theory BUT THAT ONE PART REALLY LOOKS LIKE WHAT I THINK IT IS I SWEAR

I feel so bad for Hanako rn tho

Omfg It's Natsuhiko🙄

Nene stop it this dude is BAD NEWS

WAIT NO THEY BETTER NO DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS NENE ISTG

I HAVE THE SAME QUESTIONS, NENE

FRIENDS MY ASS

(To be continued here because I ran out of space)

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun

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superbfics · 7 months ago

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Carol. CAROL. This is so so so so good oh my god. I was smiling like a damn idiot this entire fic!!!!!!!! I knew from the title I was like oh God, blink 182, take my heart it's yours. But OH it's so good. I loved Eddie with my whole fucking heart and then some. The relationships you came up with?! The banter? WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIVING THIS AWAY FOR FREE?!?!

Anyways. Idk if I'm even making sense, my smile is so wide it's blinding me. Signed. Sealed. Delivered. I'm yours. Teach me your ways you goddess. 🙏🏻💛

“Are you talking to a girrrrrl?” Gareth teases. Eddie let’s out a ‘tssss’ while he stands up and stretches, quirking a brow at his best friend.

“Is it a girl? You takin’ her out?” he asks again.

“Yeah G, it’s your mom,” he shrugs, “Night y’all.”

Oh my god these three. I love them. Want to marry them all 💛💛💛💛💛

Eddie’s too caught up in hiding his face, “Ugh, she’s cuuuute, Tati, what am I supposed to do?”

“Show her what she’s been missing,” Tati shrugs, “Everyone needs an Eddie.”

got you a guinness cause that’s what you said you liked on your profile. it looks like battery acid tbh. there’s a couple seats by the end of the bar, i’ll grab them. He looks up from his phone finally to see a blur of red start maneuvering over to the end of the bar. That’s you. Oh shit, that’s you. Oh shit, you’re – fuck. You have a fat fucking ass in those jeans. He swallows again, shaking the horny thoughts out of his head through the tendrils of his hair. Another deep breath through the nose, out of the water to the diving block just to dive again. He walks the length of the bar and hears his name, your voice in real life – not through a voice note or on your profile.

“Ed?”

I AM GIDDY. BOY LOVING MY ASS IN THOSE JEANS?! GOODBYE.

“I’m a teacher,” he replies, knocking back the remainder of the Guinness in his glass.

@loveshotzz can confirm. I texted her immediately upon reading this line. I can't I can't I can't I can't I cannot Carol. Stop it. Stop it right now. Want him to take me against the bar right the fuck now gaahhhhddd.

He beams back at you when you nod, “Atta girl.”

He doesn’t notice when your thighs clench.

You miss the straw when you reach for it with your mouth, it slides over to the other side of the cup. You try again and miss, cheeks burning while Eddie looks at you continue to fuck up. His eyes glint mischievously while you hold in your frustrated laughter, “Stop looking at me.”

“It’s fine, I’ll wait while you get your life figured out over there,” he jokes, checking ‘the time’ on his wrist, “Shouldn’t be too long until you finally get it.”

Ooh, you like herrrr! I can tell! Look at your stupid face!” she laughs, pointing at him, bouncing on the cushions.

“I’m gonna marry her, or she’s gonna absolutely fuckin’ ruin my life.”

HE WENT BACK FOR THE KISS. YES BABY. YOU SO CUTE EDDIE I CAN'T CAROL I'M LOSING MY MIND. I WANNA RUIN HIM AND MARRY HIM STOP IT THIS - I - I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THINGS TODAY AND NOW I GOTTA LAY IN BED AND STARE AT THE CEILING.

let's go, don't wait (e.m. x f!reader)

inspired by this prompt by @edsforehead - it's not exactly the same but i did my best! summary: modern!eddie's been single since 2020 and aside from getting his dick wet after weekend shows at the hideout, he hasn't been going out of his way for love until his friends make him. cw: 18+ for adult themes. alcohol use, swearing, some sexual themes. some discussions of bad parents. eddie had some sad parts of his childhood. all around this is a fluff piece so nothing too bad. (11k) eddie is 32, reader is 30. so older!reader i guess, idk. i already started writing the part two which is almost entirely smut.

Jingle. Click. Creak. “Mmmm.” Eddie knows that groan anywhere, the deep primal urging of a one Gareth Emerson and the giggles of his girlfriend, Tatianna Edwards. They stumble into the apartment, lips attached, hands grabbing and fisting each other’s layers from the cold.

“Hi guys,” he calls out, his tone was as bored and annoyed as he hoped it would be. His eyes don’t leave the TV, transfixed on the screen while he watches another YouTube compilation of the best guitar solos of all time. He disagrees with most of them, but it’s enough to drone on in the background while he scrolls through his Twitter feed. He’s never even posted. Not once. Not even a picture on his profile.

“Hi Ed,” Tati chirps, clicking the side table lights on. He can smell her Chloe perfume when she comes to give him a hug hello. Her arms wrap around him from behind the couch, cheeks touching, a few of her butterfly twists falling forward over his shoulder.

“Did you stay in tonight?” she asks, pressing a glossy smooch to his cheek. “Sure did,” he huffs, arms crossing over hers in a semblance of an embrace. Her gold bracelets are cool against his skin, her gold rings match his silver ones. He thought when Tati entered the picture that he and Gareth would’ve started to drift apart. Instead, Tati became Eddie’s new best friend – Gare really took ‘date the girl version of Eddie’ to heart. They were two peas in a pod. “You should’ve come out, there were a lot of single girls there – you’re a good dancer, you coulda snagged one,” she sounds like a mother trying to set him up. Eddie tilts his head up and looks at her from below, her deep skin shimmering with the glitter fallout from her eye makeup. She always looks pretty with ease, even with her makeup smudged – like she meant to do that.

“Oh, I’m sure,” he smiles tightly, but the look falls to something soft when Tati lets go and her almond shaped manicured nails rake gently over his scalp through his conditioned curls. “You can’t just keep picking up girls from shows, dude,” Gareth chides playfully, coming around the couch to sit next to him, “They’re starting to get waaaay too young for you at the bars.”

“Yeah, perv,” Tatianna teases, ruffling his hair before curling up on the recliner closer to the TV.

“Can we please not talk about this again,” Eddie sighs, sinking further into the cushions. He presses on his eyes with the heels of his hands, “You do this every time you guys come back from a date.”

“We gotta get you on Hinge, or something,” Gareth says.

“Tinder at the very least,” Tatianna follows.

“Okay, I’m going to bed,” Eddie grunts when he gets up, a little dizzy at the speed before he finds his footing, “Don’t be too loud tonight.”

“Just trying to help!” Tati calls out, “You deserve to be too loud at night, too!”

Eddie sucks his teeth before he turns the corner to the hallway, disappearing for the night while his friends fell more in love.

It feels like they’re disassembling a bomb. Eddie sulks in a seat at the kitchen table while Robin, Steve, Nancy, and Gareth chatter behind him. Jeff and his wife sit across from him with just as much excitement as the group opposite them. Eddie frowns, bangs too long over his eyes, hands sweating onto the back of his banged up stickered phone case.

“I think you should put the picture of the guitar last, it doesn’t have your face in it. I’d swipe past you,” Robin points at the screen in front of him while he tries to make sense of his Hinge profile.

“Well you’re a whole lesbian Rob, so you’d swipe past me anyway,” Eddie’s clipped words make the group laugh instead of making them back off. His shoulders sink immediately. This was mortifying.

“She’s right though,” Steve pipes up, “They’ll think you’re some weirdo who's obsessed with his guitar if you — well, actually then maybe it’s fine…”

“Why don’t you—” Jeff starts.

“You’re married and you’ve been with Alycia since 2014. Your opinions are void,” Eddie interrupts with a sigh.

Jeff lets out a laugh from his broad smile, “Look, I’m just saying. Why don’t you focus on your answers to the questions rather than the pictures? Girls love stuff like that. You’re smart, you’re a good writer.”

“Babe, they’re not gonna care about his answers if the first picture they see is of an out of focus guitar taken on an iPhone 4S,” Alycia cocks her head at Jeff, “Like, at least be honest with him.”

“I know you’re squinting in that picture from Jeff’s wedding but maybe you can put that one first,” Nancy points to the screen and then scrolls down a little. It lands on a photo of Jeff and Eddie, both sweating from the night's activities. His dress shirt is unbuttoned half way down his chest, silver chains and tattoos on full display, tie tied around Jeff’s forehead like a makeshift Rambo.

“Yeah, you look really good in it,” Robin agrees.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Tati shuffles into the kitchen, “I got in touch with the photographer from the show two weeks ago at Wraith Bar and he’s sending me some pictures.”

“You can use the six pictures you’re tagged in from the last three years,” Tatianna scolds, “You look like a bum in them.”

The group frowns and tosses glances at each other, it’s true. The more recent pictures they had of Eddie were far and few between. He was either blinking or off to the side, blurry or ducking out of frame. Every picture where he looks like himself was either from a show or had Chrissy in it, and he deleted all of those three years ago.

“Stop, you look so fine in these,” Tatianna squeals, “The girls are gonna love you.” Everyone but Eddie huddles around Tatianna to scroll through the pictures. Some of him mid shred with sweat pouring down his chest. Some of him screaming into the mic, hair wild and wet around his face. There was one, that he begrudgingly really liked, where his head leaned back into the light with a winning Munson smile. It was when he heard the opening drums to cover ‘The Immigrant Song’ as a gag – but not really a gag ‘cause he loves that song. It gets everyone at the bar pretty excited – even if they only know the song from School of Rock.

Eventually, Eddie isn’t even holding his phone, it’s being passed between Tati, Steve, and Robin while he dictates his answers to stupid questions. By the time his profile is finished, his head is hidden in his mass of curls, resting his forehead on his forearms at the table.

“Are we done now?” he asks into the space between his face and the woodgrain. Despite the winter air flowing through the kitchen window, he’s overheated with embarrassment. There are suddenly too many people around, too much talking, too much giggling at his expense. He tilts his head back up and takes a full breath through his nose and out through his mouth – “Oh shit! You matched with someone!” “How? I didn’t even look at anyone yet,” Eddie’s brows furrow while his head slowly comes to center. “Don’t worry about it, dingus,” Robin chides, “Just talk to her.” Eddie takes the phone and looks at her profile. Rachel, 27, Vet tech. She’s pretty, soft eyes, great smile. He swallows thickly before he goes to his ‘Matches’ and types three letters that felt like they took ten years to write: Hey.

The chats start fast and die faster, some flirty banter here and there before he’s too nervous or quickly bored. His heart squeezes every time he gets a notification, a buzz in his pocket, a reminder of a message. Some girls don’t want a relationship and that’s fine, that’s just not what he’s looking for. Some girls ask the big questions first and he can’t answer right away. Some girls just aren’t his type and he isn’t theirs either.

The first date he goes on ends with her excusing herself to the bathroom before they even get to order dinner. She doesn’t come back — he’s not even sure what he did. It started off fine, she was pretty with blonde hair and blue eyes. Fun and easy conversation, a voice that sounded like powder puffs and sugar scented perfume. If he blurred his vision a little, she could’ve been Chris. But she wasn’t Chris.

Maybe that’s why she left. Maybe she got the vibe that he was preoccupied with her looking like his ex.

Maybe it was because he said, ‘You remind me so much of my ex-wife,’ before they got to order dinner.

His second date wasn’t much better. He was proud of himself for not going for another Chrissy look alike, but it was clear that this new girl was on a hunt for a husband.

“So are you planning on getting the tattoos removed?” she had asked, pursing her red lips. He was surprised at how well her lipstick stayed on after eating a pasta dish. Whenever he wears makeup for a show, it smudges before the lights come up.

“Uh, no why?” he asked.

“Just y’know, thinking ahead — family photos and whatever,” she shrugged. His mouth had never run so dry in his life. The chicken alfredo turned in his stomach.

The third ended up being a quickie in the bar bathroom only for her to leave right after and unmatch him without as much as a ‘Thanks for a good night!’ He at least wanted to be a gentleman about it.

The fourth fizzled out and neither of them felt the connection.

The fifth felt weird because they had talked so much on the app that they didn’t have anything left to talk about when they went out for drinks.

A month had gone by and all he had to show for it was five bad dates and dozens of unanswered chats. Eddie was found sitting in his bed in the dark, only the light on his phone keeping him illuminated while he thumbs through Instagram. Another app that he has for no reason, he never posts, he never shares anything. He just scrolls.

He wonders if Chrissy’s on Hinge. Eddie’s stomach lurches at the thought of coming across her profile. All blonde and blue eyes, all sweet and spunky, all the right answers to her curated questions. Photos of her in the Maldives, in her friend’s weddings, of her in Chicago after she moved. His heart hammers, sweat collects on his bare chest, heating up the chain lying flat against it until it sticks. He quickly swipes out of Instagram to his home screen, a photo of Robin and Steve flipping him off from the stage after a Corroded Show during load out. He holds his thumb on the app until all the apps shake, thumb hovering over the ‘x’ on the corner to delete the Hinge for good.

What’s another three years of being single?

“Ed?” he hears Tati on the other side of the door, her soft knock following her voice, “I got Indian and I’m not gonna eat it all. Gare doesn’t want it, you want it?”

“Yeah, sure,” he hums. She opens the door and sighs at the darkness. He squints as the light pools in from the hallway and sees her lean her shoulder against the door frame.

“Are you in here sulking?” she asks, one brow raising.

“Yeah, Tat, I’m in here sulking,” he groans, laying flat on his mattress, “I like to sulk. Let me sulk.”

“Don’t sulk,” she puts on a pout and flicks his light on, leaving the containers of rice and chicken saag. He groans when the light stings his eyes, tossing a forearm over his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice falling into kindergarten teacher territory. She never realized her profession would come so handy living with two grown men, “Why’re you being such a baby in here?”

“I think I’m gonna delete the app,” he murmurs, still hiding under the protection of his tattooed arm. The pressure feels good on his face, releasing the tension starting to brew behind his eyes. He hadn’t eaten since his lunch period at work, the hunger was starting to catch up to him.

“Don’t delete it,” she shakes her head, crawling onto the end of his bed. She takes her twists out of her jumbo claw clip and readjusts to pull them all back away from her face. Tati eases his phone out of his hand and slides her glasses on, flinging his dead arm off his face to use his Face ID. He whines, face scrunching is disapproval.

“I told you to stop doing that,” Eddie complains, sitting up against his pillows before crawling out of bed to get the food waiting on his dresser, “Do you have any naan or…?”

“Do I look like a food bank, Munson? Damn,” she tilts her head and he raises his brows in a silent ‘Well, do you?’

She sighs deeply, “Yes, I have extra naan but you can only have it if you don’t delete the app and eat with us in the living room.”

“Those are two totally different asks, Tati,” Eddie huffs.

“I don’t make the rules,” she shrugs before starting to laugh, “Actually, I totally do.”

The phone buzzes in her hand and Tatianna’s grin only widens when she sees the notification, “You have a new like.”

“Whatever,” he shrugs, face laced with disappointment and frustration, “It’s gonna be another dud. Why bother if there’s no point? Like, this can’t actually be how people meet each other —“

Tatianna opens her mouth to protest but Eddie interrupts his own thought before she can speak, “You and Gareth are the anomaly.”

“What if the sixth time’s a charm? She looks really cute,” She smiles, teeth bright against her smile, cheekbones glistening where her moisturized skin hits the light.

He rolls his neck and sighs while Tatianna continues to encourage him, “Just try. You owe yourself that. Chrissy wouldn’t—.”

“Fuck Chrissy, Tat,” Eddie’s voice raises slightly, suddenly defensive. His chest burns at the sound of her name, heat rising up through his neck to his face, “I don’t really give a fuck what Chrissy would and wouldn’t want. ‘Cause if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have to be on these stupid fucking apps.”

“Whew, tell me how you really feel Ed,” she says while she stands up off the bed to walk towards him.

“Look, I get you’re still mad about how things went down with Chris. I know you’re still hurting, but you’re denying yourself a chance to start over — just shoot this girl a message. She seems cool,” Tati speaks so gently to him that he soothes instantly. She offers his phone, still open on the new profile — he’s hesitant at first but he takes it from her to look at the screen.

There you are. You are cute. Your profile is simple: your name, age thirty, your opening tagline ‘idk i’m just out here i guess’. He lets a puff of air out of his nose at the sentiment — ‘Same,’ he thinks.

“Fine,” he says finally, “I’ll look through her stuff and I’ll message her. Are you happy?”

“Thrilled,” she smiles, “So thrilled that I’ll even let you have the extra samosa.”

He follows her out of the room with his phone and food in hand, looking at her fondly when she passes him a tinfoil covered piece of naan in the kitchen, “You’re my best fucking friend, dude.”

“I thought I was your best friend?” Gareth pouts from the kitchen table, D&D notes littered in front of him.

Eddie scrunches his nose, tilting his head while he considers, “You’re alright I guess.”

When the food is done and he’s gotten a proper look at your profile he decides to bite the bullet — fingers shaking while he matches back with you. He doesn’t start with ‘hey’ this time because Robin and Steve said that was boring, so he tries something new:

wild that you’re just ‘out here’, me too.

…

lol, twin behavior. how’s your night?

Eddie’s heart hammers at the response. He’s surprised at the reaction, he hadn’t had that with any of his other chats, normally expecting them to die off after the first ‘Hey, how are you?’ pleasantry. But maybe this could be different, maybe this could be fun.

scored some indian food from one of my roommates so it’s one of my better nights.

ooh, i’m so jealous. i have buyers remorse from some baked ziti i ordered. should’ve just made it.

what did you get?

chicken saag, still jealous?

i’m more of a saag paneer girl but consider me over here seething.

Eddie grins into the phone, cheeks hot while he thinks about what to say back. He skims over your profile again, eyes stilling at a photo of you laughing on what looks like a cruise deck. The sun hits you like a golden streak across your eyes. The caption reads ‘the last time i felt a single shred of genuine happiness’, he huffs an airy giggle before going back to the chat.

you’re funny, did you know that?

um ya, i’m the funniest person i know, actually. 🥰

that's crazy cause i’m the funniest person i know. and since now i know you, it’s looking like we gotta battle for who the funniest is.

Jesus fucking Christ Munson, why can’t you just be normal? Why can you just say ‘lol’ and call it a night? He frets. His leg bounces while he waits for your reply, food rolling in his stomach. The cool metal of his rings is welcomed on his warm cheeks while he leans against his hand on the arm of the couch. The few minutes he waits for the buzz of his phone feel like eternities. But there you are to save him from his embarrassment:

lmao okay. where did you wanna battle?

there’s a bar in the city that i think could host. you around tomornight?

tommorow night* sorry, fuck, i was trying so hard to be smooth with it.

TOMORROW***** FUCK. LET ME LOG OFF FOR ETERNITY REAL QUICK.

yiiiiikes! embarrassing. but this proves you actually might be funnier than me. i’m not a sore loser so i’ll go on a date with you if that’s what you’re asking.

do you drink? it doesn’t have to be a bar.

i do! where did you have in mind?

there’s a spot called little spoon saloon in the city if you’re familiar. sorta cozy.

oh yeah sounds great for a battle 🙄

but yeah i know it, that’s not too far from my place. maybe we’ve seen each other before and never known it. two ships passing in the night~*

does seven work for you? i know it’s a monday, so we can do earlier if you gotta be up early or something.

sevens fine :)

okay :)

see ya tomorrow! Eddie bites his lower lip, breathing steadily through his nose while he sends over his number. Anything to get out of looking at the app for at least another day, anything to spare him from potentially running into Chrissy’s profile despite her being in a different state. It was getting close to the holidays, she could be around at any moment.

Before he can spiral, his phone buzzes again – this time a text from an unknown number. His grin widens, too caught up in the excitement bubbling in his chest to feel Tatianna’s stare from the recliner. hi, it's me. jsyk if you don't reach out by like, two tomorrow -- i'm considering it a cancellation and i do have a 50% cancellation fee. sorry!

50%? stop selling yourself so short, kid. but don’t worry, i won’t cancel. no? you’re not scared to battle? i’m never scared of a battle. :) (A lie.) see you tomorrow.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Tatianna smiles, cheeks tight from being unable to hide her excitement. “Are you talking to a girrrrrl?” Gareth teases. Eddie let’s out a ‘tssss’ while he stands up and stretches, quirking a brow at his best friend. “Is it a girl? You takin’ her out?” he asks again. “Yeah G, it’s your mom,” he shrugs, “Night y’all.” “Ed,” Tati whines, “Come on.” Pink floats across his cheeks, itching his nose to hide his goofy smile behind his hand. “Yeah, it’s a girl. And yeah, I’m taking her on a date tomorrow,” he groans. Tatianna squeals, shimmying with giddiness while the recliner rocks with her. Eddie’s too caught up in hiding his face, “Ugh, she’s cuuuute, Tati, what am I supposed to do?”

“Show her what she’s been missing,” Tati shrugs, “Everyone needs an Eddie.”

Last night, Eddie fell asleep caught in a memory that became a dream. He’s eight years old at the YMCA, Wayne sitting in the stands watching him – this is maybe two weeks after his dad dropped him off before he got sent to prison. Wayne wanted to make sure his schedule stayed the same as it could, so Saturday swim lessons it was – today was diving off the block. Eddie had been dreading this lesson for a month, knowing that level 2.5 meant you had to at least try. In level two, they had you stand on the block just to get used to it. He could barely breathe for the ten seconds it was up there, tears stinging his eyes while his teacher encouraged him to come closer to the edge. Three of his classmates had already asked if they were allowed to jump off. It looked fun but it was just so high up. What if it hurts? What if he landed the wrong way? He was up soon, standing behind the block with the rest of the kids, shivering from being out of the water. He could dive off the edge of the pool just fine – in fact, his teacher said he was a great diver, especially for an eight year old. So it should be no problem to dive off the block, he just had to do the same thing he always does. Just higher.

Gareth, before Gareth was his best friend, climbs up the block and puts his feet at the edge of the white plastic and metal. His teacher, Miss Tiffany, tells him to put his arms up and bend his knees and to dive at the whistle. The whistle blows and Gareth leaps – but he doesn’t dive smoothly into the water.

“BELLY FLOP!” Jason Carver yells from the edge of the pool where all the kids who already dove sat. They start teasing him relentlessly, Miss Tiffany helping him out of the water to inspect his red belly. Tears well up in Gareth’s eyes, his mom leaning over the bannister from the seating area. “Are you okay, baby?” she asks. Gareth burns red with embarrassment, only encouraging the cackling kids to get crueler.

Miss Tiffany puffs her whistle three times, “If you tease again, you’re not allowed to go to free swim. Do you understand me?”

The group quiets, slowly kicking their feet in the water. “Alright Eddie, you’re up next!”

He gulps, climbing up on the block slowly before standing to full height with his eyes closed. He takes a deep breath through his nose and out through his mouth, like his Uncle Wayne taught him to do when he was feeling nervous. When Eddie’s eyes opened, a chill ran through his chest – for some reason the block seemed higher than ever.

“Ready Freddie?” Miss Tiffany asked, treading water in her red bathing suit. She grinned up at him, knowing that the phrase always made him giggle – but not today.

“Arms up, knees bent,” she continues. Ed looks down at the water and the room spins, he can hear Jason and the class giggling. Hear the splashes from the kicks of their feet.

The whistle blows. He doesn’t move. The whistle blows, again. He puts his arms down. “You okay, Eddie? You can do it! You’re a great diver!” she cheers.

Eddie chews on his lower lip, thinking about the smack of the water when it hit Gareth’s stomach. The laughter. The teasing. The potential of the pain. The whistle blows again. Eddie climbs down off the block, sniffling when he makes it back to the pool deck, “I don’t want to Miss Tiffany.”

“C’mon Ed, I know you can do it! Do you want me to save you for last?” she asks, her smile still bright and encouraging. Eddie sniffles again, eyes burning with tears while Jason and his friends start to tease him, too. “Swimming sucks,” he bites, stomping towards the boys room, grabbing his ratty towel off one of the benches on the way in. He’s only in the locker room for a few minutes before he hears the door open and Wayne’s apologetic voice talking to Miss Tiffany from the deck floor.

“He’s just goin’ through a lot right now,” Wayne says, his gruff voice rattling off the metal of the room.

“Eddie?” Tiffany’s voice calls.

“Come out here, son,” Wayne calls, “Y’know, if your decent.”

Eddie sniffles back his tears again, shuffling over to the door while Miss Tiffany waits with his Uncle.

“Do you maybe wanna stay a little late today and we can practice diving off the block when class is over?” she offers, “I know it can be scary to do it in front of your classmates, but I want you to pass to level three!”

“No thanks Miss Tiffany,” he mumbles to the tiles on the floor.

“That’s okay Eddie, maybe we can try again next week. How’s that sound? I know you can do it,” she says softly.

“Okay,” he murmurs before turning on his heel and moping back into the locker room. Wayne was waiting by the check in desk when Eddie emerged after changing, his ratty towel slung off his shoulder.

“You okay?” Wayne asked.

“Yeah, can we just go home?”

“Sure kid, was gonna stop and get us some lunch if you wanted,” Wayne’s eyes crinkle with his smile, “Wanna go to McDonalds?”

Eddie returns the smile half heartedly, “Yeah.”

They walk to Wayne’s pick-up hand in hand, despite some parents thinking he’s ‘too old’ to be doing that. He needed the support, and his uncle was never one to make him feel like he didn’t have it.

“So d’you wanna try again next week? Your starting form was great, buddy,” Wayne asks while Eddie puts his seatbelt on. Eddie considers it. Getting to the edge of the block and making Jason Carver eat his own words. Making him look like a loser for a change.

But the words ring in his ear ‘BELLY FLOP!’ The relentless teasing if he didn’t do it this week and then messed up next week. He’d be a baby and a joke.

“I don’t wanna do swimming anymore, Uncle Wayne,” he huffs.

“You sure?” his uncle frowns, putting the car into gear, “You’re really good, Ed. Y’could be on the swim team.”

“I don’t wanna come back. I quit,” he repeats. He crosses his arms while they pull out of the parking lot, watching the rest of the kids pool out of the doors with smiles on.

Eddie wakes up to his alarm blaring, back in his 32 year old body. He swears that the air of his bedroom smells like chlorine.

Eddie made sure to text you at 1:59 PM like an asshole.

still on for tonight? :)

so close to having to pay my cancellation fee.

but yes, still on for tonight :)

sorry, work’s been wild today. would’ve texted you sooner!

you’re off the hook…

for now. 😡

He likes your little attitude, he decides. That little hint of sass in your messages keeps him on his toes and it’s not lost on him that this is probably how you flirt. He wonders, selfishly, how easy you are to fluster. You both exchange a few back and forths before he’s finishing up work for the day and heading to Wheeler’s for a campaign chat.

The texts completely drop off while he gets ready to see you. He takes an extra long time in the shower, using the tiniest squeeze of Tati’s curl cream when he comes out because it makes his hair look good. He scrubs his face raw before shaving, following up with the skin care routine he kept up with, even though Chrissy curated it for him.

Once dressed, he stepped quietly out to the living room to grab his jacket in the closet and pull out his boots.

“You used my curl cream, I see,” Tatianna crosses her arms. He blushes.

“Don’t be mad, I just wanna look good,” he puts on a faux pout, eyes rounding while he slides the leather over arms.

“You look really good,” she smiles, “It’s gonna be great.”

Eddie shoves his socked feet in his Docs, worn in from years of wear, and looks up at her, “I’m kind of excited.”

“You should be! I don’t know, I just have a really good feeling about this one,” she smirks, “Text me at some point, let me know how it goes.”

“It’s a better indicator if he doesn’t text you, Tati,” Gareth says, coming up behind her, “You look sharp, dude.”

“Sharp?” Eddie rolls his eyes, “What’re you? Eighty?”

Tatianna clicks on her phone to look at the time, “Can you get the fuck outta here? You’re gonna be late!”

“I’m going, I’m going!” he laughs, arms up while he grabs his keys from the hook by the door, “Wish me luck, bye!”

Eddie felt sick. Suddenly feeling like he was standing at the edge of the pool in ‘98.

When he got his keys in the ignition of his Honda Civic, a text came through immediately. He swallowed tightly, in some way expecting it to be you. In some way, expecting you to be canceling on him.

Instead, it was Tatianna in the big group chat:

here, we made a playlist for you

Eddie clicks on the Spotify link and laughs. First Date - Blink 182

First Date - Blink 182

First Date - Blink 182 First Date - Blink 182 First Date - Blink 182 First Date - Blink 182

And so on. The music automatically connects, the opening guitar ripping through his speakers. Eddie quickly types up a response on his phone before pulling out into the street.

very creative, edwards.

someone in this house has to be. ‘In the car, I just can't wait, to pick you up on our very first date. Is it cool if I hold your hand? Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?’ He rolls his eyes as Mark and Tom serenade him in the car, laughing at the lyrics. It’d been a while since he’d listened to this album, let alone this song. While he won’t admit it to Gareth or his girlfriend, it was exactly what he needed before he got to the bar.

‘Do you like my stupid hair? Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear? I'm just scared of what you think, you make me nervous so I really can't eat.’ “Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over,” he sings along, fingers tapping on his steering wheel while he waits at a red light. He’s on the fourth replay of the song by the time he pulls up. The ignition cuts off the lyrics before the chorus, he takes a big breath before opening the door. Just a couple minutes past seven, but he told you he was running a little late, so you wouldn’t be mad. His phone buzzes to Robin, Steve, and Jeff reacting to the playlist Tati sent. Alicia, Jeff, and Nancy sent him sweet good luck messages. Robin and Steve sent them a picture from a bar they were at, flipping him off. ‘Break a leg, dingus,’ came in her follow up voice memo. Eddie considers making this new picture his phone background.

He swallows hard when he gets to the door, his bottom lip getting pulled between his teeth in apprehension. He nods to himself, “You got this, Munson.” Another deep breath, he’s still ten, he’s still afraid to dive off the diving block. What if it hurts? What if he belly flops?

‘What if you don’t? What if you dive this time?’ He thinks to himself. He opens the door to the bar, his ten year old self puts one foot on the diving block. The chatter of a few conversations at once is disorienting, so is the low light of the bar in comparison to the neon outside. The man at the entrance asks for his ID and he awkwardly fumbles for his wallet as if it’s not obvious he’s been old enough to drink for eleven years. “Here, man,” he says, somehow nervous he’ll get caught with a fake like he’s nineteen again. The security’s light flashes over his birthdate and he passes it back with a short and gruff thank you. Eddie takes a few steps before checking his phone to remind him what you said you’d be wearing.

in a red cut off sweatshirt, jeans that look like dickies – hard to miss! white airforces! i’m here, looking for you if you can’t spot me just approach the most off putting girl at the bar, it’s probably me :)

He smiles into the light of his phone. You’re are funny. His phone lights up again, another text bubble added to your previous one. Eddie’s heart hammers in his chest when he looks at it, knowing you’re really only moments away. got you a guinness cause that’s what you said you liked on your profile. it looks like battery acid tbh. there’s a couple seats by the end of the bar, i’ll grab them. He looks up from his phone finally to see a blur of red start maneuvering over to the end of the bar. That’s you. Oh shit, that’s you. Oh shit, you’re – fuck. You have a fat fucking ass in those jeans. He swallows again, shaking the horny thoughts out of his head through the tendrils of his hair. Another deep breath through the nose, out of the water to the diving block just to dive again. He walks the length of the bar and hears his name, your voice in real life – not through a voice note or on your profile. “Ed?”

Eddie catches your eye and his heart sinks and leaps so quickly he thinks he’s going into cardiac arrest. You’re real pretty, even more so when you grin at him from a few feet away. You wave him over and he does his best to walk confidently towards you, taking his jacket off while he does. He doesn’t know it, but the other girls at the bar are looking. He’s all broad shoulders and dark tattoos, two silver chains and understated rings. Full lips and doe eyes. Tatianna never told a lie, he was unmistakably handsome – he just didn’t know what to do with it. You toss your hair when you speak to the bartender from the end of the bar with a bright smile. The man puts two drinks in front of you and you leave cash in their wake. Eddie winces when he sees you pay, but tries to ignore the sting. In a way, it feels like he’s already losing – like he’s playing Sims with Robin and he’s not on track to get a gold reward on date night. You’re hot and you know it, but he can tell it’s like you just found out. Your eyes are flirty no matter what you’re looking at, you’re full bodied and it’s like you know it’s making him salivate. Eddie can’t help but be nervous when he takes a seat next to you, fingers immediately drumming on the bar top in front of him. “Guinness for you,” you say, sliding the pint glass in front of him. “Thanks,” he smiles, “You didn’t have to do that. I asked you out, you’re not supposed to be paying for me.”

“I know, but – why don’t you get the next one and we’ll call it even?” you offer. He nods while he takes a sip, eyeing the lighter orangey liquid in your glass. “Did you get a cider?” he teases.

“It’s a grapefruit beer, thank you,” your brows furrow at him while you take a sip. You have a good face, part of him wants to say that but it seems like a weird compliment. ‘Nice face.’ Like, what does that even mean? His tongue feels heavy, he can feel the sweat building under his curly bangs. “Weaksauce,” he laughs, scrunching his nose, “Grapefruit beer? Not for me, toots.”

“Yeah, because you drink battery acid!” you tease back, “You’re a stout snob, huh?”

“Nah, just never heard of grapefruit beer. I always drink Guinness – or like, Miller light. Never really stray,” he shrugs.

“You wanna try mine?” you ask, sliding the glass to him.

“You sure?” he watches you nod and brings the beer to his lips. It’s tart, a little bubbly, hitting his tongue on the off beat from the stout before. It settles and then it’s sweet, he wonders if you’re the same. Eddie smacks his lips, “I don’t hate it.”

“That’s such a stout snob thing for you to say,” you pull a face, bringing your drink back to sit in front of you. “I’d offer you a sip of mine but I know you don’t like it,” he smiles, “Wouldn’t want to ruin the taste of your dessert beer.” “Fuck off,” you shake your head and smile, taking another sip of your drink. The Guinness in his hand makes him feel less nervous, but not all the way – toeing the line of the end of the diving block but not scared to look down into the water. He can tell you’re nervous too by the way you pick at a hangnail on your thumb absentmindedly, the way you cross and uncross your legs. Eddie’s eyes linger for a moment at the way they spill over each other, squishing flat on the seat of the stool when you keep them uncrossed. He tries to discreetly follow the line of your thighs to your hips, up to your waist before getting ahead of himself and pulling his eyes away.

“How was your day?” you ask. Not the question he was expecting. “My day?” he asks, brows raised while he tries to recollect anything before getting ready to see you. “Uh, my day was good. Yours?” You fucking dumbass, you couldn’t just spare one detail? She’s gonna think you’re an asshole. “It was fine,” you answer quietly. Your smile fades a little and he feels a panicked chill rush in his chest. “S-sorry, I should’ve elaborated. I sound like such a dick, sorry,” Eddie feels the heat creeping up on his cheeks, a clamminess starting up at his hairline, “I um, I went to work. Came home, went to a friend’s house for a minute and we talked about a campaign we’re putting together next weekend. I had some dinner, and then I started getting ready to see you and um – uh, now I’m here.” “Campaign? Are you a politician or somethin’?” you quirk a brow while you look him over. He feels insecure under your gaze, he hopes you like his tattoos.

“No, no, it’s for Dungeons and Dragons.” Saying it outloud makes him feel like a loser, even though you don’t react like you think so.

“Cool,” you smile.

“Do you like, even know what that is?” Defensive already, waiting for you to make fun of him. Waiting for this to end up another mistake. Waiting to belly flop.

“Yeah, I know what it is,” you answer quietly again, this time your shoulders, “Have some friends that play.”

“Oh, cool. Cool,” Eddie nods, chest tightening, toying with his rings while you reach for your drink, “Um, I’m — yeah, sorry if that came off like, dickish. I didn’t mean to—.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you shake your head when you say it, almost like it’s rehearsed. Like you’re always ‘okay’-ing something.

“Sometimes people think it’s weird when I tell them, I dunno,” he shrugs, still looking down at his rings, “If I’m being honest I haven’t been so great at this whole dating thing.”

You smile again and he looks up in time to see it, his breath hitches. You’re very pretty.

“If it makes you feel any better, I learned how to play Magic the Gathering twice to impress a boy. Two different ones,” you grimace, scrunching your nose, “Gross right?”

“Oof, that’s rough,” he jokes, “Magic the Gathering? That’s like, way worse than D&D.”

“Well the difference between you and me, is that I don’t still play,” you bite back, cocking your head while you take another drink. “Didn’t impress those boys after all, huh?” he raises a brow and your mouth falls open in faux offense.

“You’re so mean,” you gasp.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he drawls, “Should’ve put that in my profile.”

“Oh, so you are mean?” you grin.

“The meanest,” he grins back, teeth straight and shiny. Full lips pulled tight against them, “How was your day?” “I worked,” you shrug, “Not as exciting.”

“What do you do?” he asks, turning towards you on the stool, leaning one arm on the bar. He relaxes into the seat, legs spreading wide while his free hand runs nervously over his thigh.

“I’m a personal assistant to a jewelry maker,” you let out a half chuckle through your nose, “It sounds fake when I say it out loud. But basically, I just keep her schedule and run errands and keep her shit in order. She’s an older woman and she’s not the most tech savvy in the world — great at what she does though, really eccentric but I feel like you gotta be when you work in the arts like that.”

“That’s cool,” he says softly, watching you talk, “What kind of jewelry does she make?”

“Oh you’ll love this, since you like D&D and stuff,” you start, your excitement is infectious, his heart thrums, “She makes fine jewelry for the most part, but also makes anodized chain mail jewelry and wearable pieces for theater and ren fairs on the side. I told you, eccentric.”

“Oh, so she’s a little alchemist, huh?” he smirks.

“Kinda, yeah,” you shrug, heat hitting your cheeks while he keeps his gaze on you, “It’s cool to watch the first few times, and then you get bored.”

“I’m sure it’s the same for people who watch my band,” he laughs. You shake your head, a curve pulling from the corners of your lips while you finish your beer.

“Alchemist,” you repeat with a playful roll of your eyes, “You’re such a nerd.”

“What do you do for work?” he notices you fully turn when you ask, your knees toward him. He remembers Steve telling him once that it was always a good sign when they do that. Like Steve knows anything about body language and dating these days, he’s been platonically attached to Robin for years. His little guard dog.

“I’m a teacher,” he replies, knocking back the remainder of the Guinness in his glass.

“Hm,” you hum, looking him over suspiciously, “That’s surprising.”

“I work at a performing arts school,” he rolls his eyes, “It’s 2023, I’m allowed to have tattoos.” “What do you teach?” you squint when you look him over a second time, “Actually, let me guess – drama?”

“Music theory,” he corrects.

“Ooh, big brain,” you joke, “That’s cool.”

“Big brain? I don’t know about that, I just like music,” he shrugs, “It makes sense to me.” “When I was in high school everyone always talked about how hard music theory was – like, all the band kids,” you explain, there’s a sparkle starting to glint in your eye when you talk to him. “You were hanging out with the band kids?” he tosses a sarcastic knowing look before taking his glass in his hands, “And I’m a nerd? I dunno girl, it’s not looking good for you here...” “Even worse, I was dating one,” you grimace back. “Fuuuuck, you were really fighting for your life in 2009 huh?” Eddie laughs low, lower lip tucking in between his teeth to run his tongue over it.

“2007, 2008 all the way to like, 2016,” you hide your face in one hand and he wishes you wouldn’t.

“Damn, that’s a long time,” he observes, “You didn’t marry that guy?”

You lift your head back up, and shake your head, “It was on and off for a long time, he’s not a fan favorite. It’s uh – it’s why I normally don’t date musicians. I almost didn’t match with you ‘cause of your first picture.”

Fucking Tatianna.

“Eek, sorry,” Eddie puts his hands up, “Should I go?” “Do you play bass?” you wince.

“I play a lot of instruments,” he chuckles, “I can play the bass. But I’m not like…a bass player, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, I know what you mean,” you breathe out a sigh of relief, “Made that mistake more than once.” “What’s your favorite instrument that you play?” you ask, it’s almost girlish. He ponders it while you cross your legs, the toe of your shoe barely brushing the back of his calf but he knows it's there. You rest your chin on your fist while you watch him think about it. His brown eyes glint in the reflection of the light overhead, plush lips parted while he runs his hands over his stubble. “I think I’d have to say…electric guitar? I’ve been playing that the longest,” he hopes you think that’s cool. “Is it the same one that’s in your pictures?”

“The Warlock?” he asks with a grin, “Yeah, that’s my girl. Best relationship of my life, prob’ly the only lady who talks more than me.”

“It’s really nice. I like the color.”

“Thank you,” he says quietly, eyes darting to your knees where they sit between his, “Um, can I get you another drink? Do you want a beer or…?”

“If I get a real drink will you stop making fun of my beer?”

“I promise.” He slides off the stool, sad to see your close proximity to him fade away when he stands up.

“They have food here, right? I’m sort of hungry, if that’s okay,” your voice gets sheepish when you ask.

“Yeah, that’s okay. Did you eat dinner?” The words fall out of him too fondly.

“I had like, a huge spinach salad,” you explain, “Might not have been enough.”

Something tells him to press further before he buys you more liquor, lest this date go to the wayside too quickly, “Did you eat lunch?”

“I worked through lunch.”

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“I had a smoothie,” you confess.

“Okay, so before I get you a drink, why don’t I get you some chicken fingers or something?” he insists. You’re shy in your smile back to him, nodding along at his advice. Yes, you should eat more before you keep drinking with him. He doesn’t want you to think he’s just trying to get you tipsy, he’s never been that kind of guy – even when he’d bring home girls from the bar. (They’d at least be the same level of totally obliterated as he was.)

He beams back at you when you nod, “Atta girl.”

He doesn’t notice when your thighs clench.

The last chicken finger is eaten, the last fry of the basket he got for you to split crunched through. The conversation had lulled, not because you weren’t interesting – the nerves were getting to him, creeping up like vines along his chest. The look over the diving block at the water, it’s slow waves teasing him to jump.

“So um,” you began, swallowing your final fry and wiping your hands on a napkin, “Since you’re a teacher, how was school today?”

Eddie’s so used to this question that his response doesn’t change, always the same quote from the same movie. Forgetting he doesn’t know you like that, his mouth moves quicker than his desire to play things off cool.

“The worst day of my life, what do you think? Gosh!” Eddie sounds more like John Heder in 2004 than John Heder does now – but when he hears himself say it, he’s immediately embarrassed. Eddie opens his mouth to apologize, nervous you won’t understand but instead – you laugh. And what a sound that is for him to hear.

“Oh, shit. I haven’t watched Napoleon Dynamite in years. Like, not since grade school.” Eddie laughs with you, “Sorry, sorry, that’s like my go-to reaction at home when my roommates ask me that. I should’ve said something more normal like, ‘It was fine. The kids can’t stop trying to take TikTok fancams of me.”

“Roommates? Fancams? You’re so hip, tell me more,” you enthuse. He puts a finger up to stop you at first, locking eyes with the bartender so he can finally order another round of drinks.

“What kind of real drink do you want?” he asks.

“Just a marg on the rocks, salt,” you shrug.

“Psh, I said a real drink,” Eddie teases with a roll of the eyes, but they soften when you go to argue back, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

His toes inch towards the middle of the diving block.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he flirts. Eddie can see the heat hit your cheeks, the creep of a smile slowly curving upwards, you’re embarrassed. Nervous like he is. Maybe this is going just fine.

When the drinks arrive he slides the margarita towards you and sips his own Jack and Coke slowly through the tiny bar straw.

“Okay, so. I have two roommates. Gareth, who’s been my best friend since I was nine; and Tatianna who has been my best friend since I was twenty-nine,” he explains.

“So why aren’t you dating Tatianna?” you challenge. You miss the straw when you reach for it with your mouth, it slides over to the other side of the cup. You try again and miss, cheeks burning while Eddie looks at you continue to fuck up. His eyes glint mischievously while you hold in your frustrated laughter, “Stop looking at me.”

“It’s fine, I’ll wait while you get your life figured out over there,” he jokes, checking ‘the time’ on his wrist, “Shouldn’t be too long until you finally get it.”

“You’re so annoying,” you grit out playfully while you capture the straw between your teeth, “Should’ve put that on your profile, too.”

“Anyway,” he continues, “I’m not dating Tatianna because Gare’s going to propose to her when they go on vacation in a few weeks.”

“Oh! Yeah, that makes sense,” you nod, “Probably not a good idea to date your best friend’s almost wife.”

“Yeah, definitely not well advised,” he shakes his head, pulling his hair up off of his neck for a minute before dropping it down, “Plus, her last name is Edwards and I dunno…don’t think I could live with myself if I was ‘Eddie Edwards’.”

You laugh again and he hoped you would. It’s a goofy laugh, you don’t try to sound cute when you do it. He knows you must be a loud laugher, if your small ones are any preview to what you could really do. You don’t sound like Chrissy. Her laugh was dainty, feathery. Like how they teach you to giggle in an etiquette class – all soft edges, all smooth lines.

“You wanna take the girl’s last name?” you raise your brows, “Very forward thinking. Progressive.”

“I don’t know, something about it’s kinda hot right?” he asks cock of his head, “Plus, my dad sucks so I don’t want to keep repping him by having his last name.”

“Oh wow, my dad sucks, too,” you reply cheerily, “We have so much in common!”

“What was it you said before? ‘Twin behavior’?”

“Twin behavior, yes!” your hands meet both of his knees where he sits across from you, your tone is light and earnest, “You get me.”

Eddie takes in a hitch of breath, desperate to keep his cool when he feels your hands on him. It’s not even sexy but he could shoot straight to the moon if you asked him to. You use his knees as leverage to hop down from your stool, grabbing your drink before nudging him with your hip.

“If we’re still battling though, there’s an air hockey table in the back room if you wanna play,” you offer.

“Are you any good?” he wonders, hopping off the stool to follow you to the back.

“I’m amazing,” you grin, “Actually won seventeen first place trophies in the intergalactic air hockey competition – of course I’m fucking bad at it, that’s why it’s fun to play.”

Eddie laughs this time, it’s gruff and nicotine soaked. You’re already winning the battle for funniest person – you’re sharp with him and he’s starting to like it. He runs his hand over the side of the air hockey table in the empty back room, more and more pleased that he put this date together on a Monday. He slides a dollar into the machine so it whirs to life, the neon lights flicking on with a stutter.

“This reminds me of birthday parties when I was a kid,” you muse to yourself, reaching for the hockey disc trapped in your goal, “Can you help me?”

He nods, hand grazing your back to get you out of the way – you’re warm to the touch. If he was a braver man he would’ve pulled you into him but he’s not, instead squatting down to reach further into the goal where your game piece was.

“Hm,” he murmurs, reaching further back and barely touching the top of it, “It’s in here, it’s just back there. I can get it, just –” he sucks his teeth like he did the night before, getting to his knees to try. Music plays over head, stuff the new crop of bar goers would consider oldies. You smile at the opening ‘Damn, shawty snappin’...’ of T-Pain’s ‘Buy U A Drank’, but even more surprised when you hear Eddie sing along softly to himself.

“Snap ya fingers, do yuh step, you can do it all by yourself. Babygirl, what’s your name?” “Not you knowing the lyrics,” you laugh.

“I was in highschool in 2007 of course, I know the lyrics,” he huffs, standing up, “I think it’s a bust for air hockey.”

“That’s fine,” you shrug, “We tried.”

“I know the club, close at three,” he lip syncs to himself before, turning his attention to you, “What’s the chances of you rollin’ with me?”

You back and forth to each other in time with the lyrics before settling back down in your spot at bar.

“You even know the Yung Joc part? Damn,” you laugh again, he loves it.

“Why’re you so surprised? Is it the tattoos?” he asks.

“Well yeah, you definitely give off a ‘loved Avenged Sevenfold’ in high school vibe,” you scooch your stool closer to his, your knees slotting between his open ones like a perfect puzzle. It’s not enough though, and he’s not sure if it’s himself or the Jack and Coke that encourages him, but he reaches for one of the legs of your stool to pull you closer.

“Hey,” he says, your faces only a few inches apart.

“Hey,” you respond. You catch his eyes flick briefly to your lips before they meet yours again. You can see the light smatter of freckles over his nose, long faded from the summer.

“You’re right, I was really into Avenged Sevenfold when I was in highschool.”

“I figured. I was into that whole scene thing, back then. All those singers that are mad at their dad’s and like, in retrospect, all hate women I guess,” you realize it as you speak.

“I probably would’ve thought you were cute,” he guesses.

“No, you would’ve called me a poser,” you correct, “Don’t lie.”

He hesitates before nodding, “No, no, you’re right I definitely would’ve called you a poser. Did you like Fall Out Boy and all of that shit?”

“Don’t shit on the music I liked,” you frown, “That’s not cool.”

“I’m not, I’m not,” he assures, pulse speeding, “I promise, I’m not. I’m sorry.” You continue talking about music, high school, college, some ins and outs. Nothing too serious. Nothing too intense. But by now, Eddie’s feeling nice and if one thing’s for certain:

He wants to fucking kiss you. Toes at the edge of the diving block, Miss Tiffany’s whistle caught between her teeth.

“So now that we’re three drinks in, can I ask you a personal question?” you ask, your eyes a little glassy. You’ve confessed that you’re tipsy, but aware, that if you have one more drink you won’t be – so Eddie already paid the tab.

“What do you wanna know?” he asks.

“Why’re you,” you enunciate, implying he’s something, “On the apps? It’s hard to believe that someone like you would be single. Unless you have like, something deeply wrong with you, but you’ve been all green flags so far.”

Your hand falls back to his knee and he eyes it before sliding his own hand down his thigh to lace your fingers with his.

“You want the real story?” he asks, lifting your hand up of his knee to play with your fingers in both of his hands while he talks. His hands are warm and calloused on the fingertips, but the rest are soft. Lacing and unlacing, running his thumb up the lengths of your fingers, tracing your palm.

“The real story.”

“You gonna tell me why you’re on the apps after?”

“Sure,” you nod. You look gentle, at ease. He eases in, too.

“I got divorced in 2020,” he confesses. It feels like a weight off his chest to tell you, “Married my high school sweetheart, things were great for a long time, but y’know. People grow and – the pandemic was not kind to us.”

“Oh, I’m…I’m sorry to hear that,” you offer softly.

“It’s okay,” he smiles tightly. “I guess I was both surprised and not surprised at all when she broke up with me. Almost relieved, I guess – that I didn’t have to play the part of her husband anymore. Not that she was a bad wife or anything, she was great she just – I don’t know,” he rambles, “And I don’t know, I just threw myself into work and my friends after. Girls after shows. Was too scared to like – go on dates incase it ended up like my marriage and –”

He laughs, “My friends were tired of seeing me be so sad, I guess.”

“You have such a solid support system,” you comment, “You mention your friends, like, every other sentence.”

A beat. “I like that,” you nod and smile. He can’t get over how you look when you do that.

“Why’re you on the apps?” he asks, your hand now cradled between the two of his, his fingers grazing your wrist.

“I’m six months out of a six year long relationship,” you let out a breath through your nose and drop your shoulders a little, “Figured it was time to get back out there – enter my slut era.”

“Oh yeah, you’re super slutty,” he teases, “That’s actually the first thing I thought when I saw you. ‘She’s in her slut era.’” “God, fuck offfff,” you giggle again.

“But yeah, I ended it. I figure I should make that clear,” you say, “Just in case that’s like, a red flag for you. But I don’t know, we just weren’t growing in the same directions. Things felt done way before I left and I – I don’t know. I think I was just scared. I took some time for myself and now, here I am.”

“It’s okay that you ended your relationship, it’s not a red flag,” Eddie’s voice soothes you when he says it, “If you told me you like, cheated on him and then hit him with your car then maybe yeah, I’d be a little concerned. But you’re an adult, you just know what you want better this time around.”

“Yeah,” you agree. Your eyes meet in a silent confirmation. His eyes flick to your lips for a second time before tucking his lower lip between his teeth again.

BELLY FLOP!

“You wanna head out? It’s getting a little late,” he offers.

Your brows raise in surprise, “Uh, sure, yeah.”

“Not that I don’t like spending time with you,” he assures, letting his fingers linger over your hand while he stands up, not wanting to lose contact just yet, “Just don’t want to keep you out too late.”

“Oh yes!” you start with an old southern twang, “My daddy’ll be out there with his pistol if I don’t get home ‘fore sundown.”

“You’re funny,” he laughs, letting go over your hand to reach up and squeeze your cheeks affectionately. You both put on your jackets and head outside, both of you wincing in the cold of the winter air.

“I’d really like to do this again, if you want,” a shy blush reaches his cheeks, meeting the pink from the cold.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you’re just as shy in your response, “This was fun. You’re fun.”

“Thank you,” he flushes deeper, trying to prolong the inevitable. What if he belly flops? What if it hurts? What if the kids make fun of him?

“I’d offer to drive you home but I’ve had a few,” he says, hand reaching out to fall on your shoulder, “I feel good to drive but like, god forbid anything happens so – I’m happy to get you a car or pay for it for you.”

“That’s really sweet, thanks. Let me just um,” you pull out your phone to get in Uber with a speed that impresses him, “It’s really not that pricey, I’m close-ish by.”

“Still,” he says, “Just wanna be a gentleman y’know?”

“You’re very gentlemanly,” you flirt. Eddie stiffens, nervous, palms clammy.

“So um, I’ll see you soon?” he asks, opening his arms to give you a hug.

“Yeah, for sure,” you nod while you let him engulf you. His scent is warm and spicy, mixed with tobacco. You guess either still smokes, or he used to, but he never got up to have a cigarette in the hours you were at the bar. Eddie let’s go and cups your cheek briefly before giving you a gentle but winning smile. His warm brown eyes linger for the last time on your lips, now they’re slightly parted, waiting for him. His toes curl over the edge of the diving block, his knees are bent, arms up over his head...I don’t want to Miss Tiffany.

Swimming sucks.

“See ya.”

You quirk your brow for a moment, having expected much more than a hug, “Oh, um…see ya.”

He walks half way down the street to his car, heart thrumming in his chest in embarrassment. He should’ve just done it. FUCK. He should’ve just kissed you.

But what if it hurts? What if she leaves? What if you can’t make it to level three? What if they laugh at you?

He breathes heavily through his nose while tears threaten to well up in his eyes, staining his eyelashes. What if you don’t want to see him again after this? What if you change your mind? He sighs audibly when he turns the key, phone auto connecting to the speakers. He turns up the radio while the car revs to life, pulling on his seatbelt and putting the wheels into gear. He leans back in his seat to pull out of his spot only to see you still waiting for the car outside of the bar.

Blink-182 blares through his speakers, hitting him straight in the chest.

‘Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over. Honest, let’s make,this night last forever. Forever. And ever. Let’s make this last forever.’

What if he did stay a little later after class? What if he got the chance to move on to level three?

Fuck it, he thinks. He turns off the ignition, shaking out the sounds of Jason Carver and the kids laughing, the sounds of their feet kicking in the water. Just Miss Tiffany and her whistle. He gets out of the car, determined. You’re still there, head whipping around to see him coming towards you while you bounce on the balls of your feet in the cold.

Arms up. Knees bent. “Ed? My car’s gonna be here in a sec–” Whistle. His hands reach out to your cold cheeks to pull you in before his full lips capture yours. His eyes flutter close at the contact, feeling your mouth react to his in time. Soft and needy, hydrated. You immediately know how to keep his pace while he separates and goes back in for more. Wet but not messy, passionate but not feverish. The smoothest dive he’d ever done in his life. Your hands escape your pockets, fingers sliding behind his neck to pull him closer, sliding through the nape of his hair. He breaks away for a moment to delicately push your hair out of your face and really look at you before pressing his lips to yours again. You only stop when your Uber beeps from across the street.

“I wanted to do that all night,” he mumbles sheepishly.

“I wanted you to do that all night, too,” you giggle, breathless and blushing, “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he says, running a hand over his face, “Let me know when you get home, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod, hurrying across the street as the car honks again, “Bye!”

“I’ll put something together for next time!” he calls out. ‘Cause there will be a next time.

Tatianna is leaning over the back of the couch with her chin in her hands when Eddie opens the door. Her cheshire cat grin matches his own.

“So I didn’t hear from you all night,” she starts, her voice syrupy smooth, “So that means it must’ve went really well.”

Eddie sighs dreamily, kicking off his boots at the entryway and hanging his jacket on one of the hooks by the door.

“Ooh, you like herrrr! I can tell! Look at your stupid face!” she laughs, pointing at him, bouncing on the cushions.

“Tati she’s…fuck,” he shakes his head in disbelief while he walks towards her, “There’s either two ways this could go.”

“Yeah?” she asks, looking up at him, “And those are?”

“I’m gonna marry her, or she’s gonna absolutely fuckin’ ruin my life.”

“I like her already,” Tati grins, “Sit down, tell me everything.”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a sec,” he grumbles, his phone buzzing in his pocket. He plops down onto the couch while Tati grabs two cups of tea from the kitchen that she made especially for the recap of his night. Gareth had been long asleep for an early morning at work tomorrow.

Eddie takes out his phone, two unread text alerts lingering on his home page. He opens them, smiling stupidly into the screen.

i’m home :) you’re a really good kisser by the way.

glad you made it home safe. you are too. :) but you started off pretty kissable so, that’s probably why. you’re making me blush over here, stop it.

Eddie lets out a soft chuckle through his nose, clicking out of your text conversation to go back to his home screen.

He deletes the apps.

#superb eddie munson AU #modern eddie #let's go don't wait ❤

3K notes · View notes

blueboltkatana · 3 years ago

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

#warning long post #long post #i am sorry #after intense study of this species i diagnose her with #gay homosexual gay #thank you everyone

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simpinforyoongi · 5 years ago

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Hey that's my water! ~ Shy!Jungkook x reader

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: fluff?? A bit of angst mAYBe like 0.002%, attempted humour but like, IDK how to make things funny ok don't attack me

Summary: Jungkook finished all your water while kinda confessing and you just ask him to give you time to get to know him. (and you're hoping that he doesn't change his mind)

{Note: This is my first imagine on Tumblr and I'd really appreciate any feedback and comments and notes. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy it!!}

{p.s guess where the picture is from!}

~~~~~~~

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don-

You peek at the confused boy to your right who sighs for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

Focus y/n focus . It's your finals.

You look back down to your half finished paper and start writing again, but not before taking yet another sneek peek at him.

You know, seeing such behavior of yours, one would think that you're crushing on this cute boy, Jungkook.

Well, it's not fuLLY wrong, I mean, he's kinda cute,ok. But its not quite true either.

Well its just, its hard to resist such a baby face and honey-sweet charms, okay?? And the fact that you're a hoe for shy boys isn't helping at all

I'd say you're giving exams a run for their money when it comes to being avoided by Jungkook.

I mean the guy hasn't held eye contact with you ever for more than half a second!

That day when you bumped into each other? Nopity. One second he was there with books sprawled across the floor and the next second he wasn't. He didn't even look at you!

Then there was that time when the only seat available was next to you and the rest were near his "fangirls". Its fair to say he shared his meal with squirrels that day.

And then there was that day when the teacher had asked you to explain something to him since she was in a hurry and you were the only one left in class. That was probably the only time he directly talked to you.

By "talk" , I mean the low "yes" when you asked whether he had understood or not. That's it.

Those were the only times when you interacted. In the past year.

And that last time was like 4-5 months ago.

Weird, considering the fact that you share a good number of classes with him. Well maybe he's just too shy, don't stress over it you dumbass.

You put your pen down and stretch out. One gets stiff after sitting in the same position for so long you know.

15 minutes are still left on the clock.

Jungkook still seems to be writing.

Your eyes linger on his face for longer than you'd like to admit.

Ok but like

Damn

he has a sharp jawline.

Slice my throat with that jaw please

But still those chubby soft looking cheeks? Howww?? Then there are those doe eyes that hold the soft chocolate brown orbs.

Oh how you'd love to stare at them for hours on end. And tangle your fingers in the soft brown locks that are hiding his forehead. Your eyes wander down to the sweet brown pools of caramel that I mentioned a moment ago and you can't seem to avert your eyes from his.

wait.

He's looking at you.

Y/N HE'S LOOKING AT YOU

You instantly turn back around and stare your paper with such intensity that if looks could burn, the flimsy piece of paper would've been long gone by now.

Well that's an amazing way to initiate contact. Great job!

Since that creepy eye contact, you didn't even dare look at his general direction

Unknown to you, he was smiling since he caught you staring at him with a hint of a dreamy smile.

He thought you looked cute with blood rushing to your cheeks.

He should try to make you flustered more often. Actually he should've tried a lot of things.

But him being a wimp is getting in his way of even looking at you nicely.

After revising your paper, you hand it in and head out.

Anyways

yeET FINALS ARE OVERRR

Walking to the entrance, you make a list of all the delicious food you're gonna eat and get fat now while binge watching all the dramas that had to be kept on hold due to exam season TT

BUT FINALLY ITS OVER SNSMMDMD

YEEEHEE

The sun suddenly seemed brighter and the sky seemed bluer.

you put in your earphones and settled on a favorite after much thought.

Ah life is sweet

And then it isn't

As you neared the entrance, a group of boys caught your eye. What surprised you more than them staring at you was the fact that Jungkook was one of them.

They immediately went back to talking amongst themselves.

Huh

Anyyyywaaaayyysss its time to PARTAYYY

So there you were, minding your own business, skipping along the song and mouthing the words.

You know, beautiful life.

But this peace didn't last long when your tranquil venture was interrupted by heavy and fast footsteps behind you.

Oh shit what if its a kidnapper. Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Instinctively, you looked behind.

Jungkook

Oh wait it's Jungkook. Hah not a kidnapper.

Oh wait

its JUNGKOOK

What if he's here to talk about the weird eye contact.

OhMY GOD OH MY GOD OY MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMY-

He stopped right in front of you and you swore your heart would leap out and break dance in front of you any moment now.

He glanced behind him at a black van.

Oh wait maybe he IS here to kidnap me.

Good as long as the weird eye contact isn't brought up.

He looks back at you and you're like ????

He says hey

You say hi

And then you're just standing there.

He again looks back at that kidnapping van and this time some of those boys from earlier stick their heads out and give him a thumbs up and you're again like ????

"So ummm.. hehe.." Jungkook looks away from you and your hoe-for-shy-boys side is just really to jUMp out of your skin and on him

"hey you tryna kidnap me or something" you smile, trying to ease his extrEMely visible tension thats being emitted from him in squiggly Iines like those in cartoons and stuff

but you're like honestly confused???when he keeps opening his mouth and closing it like a fish trying to breath in air

and as cruel as it sounds but you haTE it when someone interrupts your music sessions and its not an exception this time either,

even though the reason of interruption is extremely pretty and you're entertained just by looking at him

"...heyyy??"

"oh um... well..its just.."

"You know what nevermind Jungkook. I'll do the rest"

you look to your right and

its one of those boys

and boYY HE'S just as pretty as Jungkook if not more and you'd think you're drooling but actually you're quite a composed lady so you just normally very un-creepily look at him.

Composed lady my as-

"Hi I'm Namjoon. I'm Jungkook's friend. And I'm just here to-"

"Hi iM YOUR HOPE YOU'RE MY HOPE IM J HOPEEE"

"Hobi cAlm down you're not calling yourself that"

"hiii excujje meee I'm Jimin nice to meet you y/n"

"jimin calm down and get insi- TAE DON'T PUSH JIMIN LIKE THAT"

"GoddAMnit I'm being sqUISHED you guys let me breath-"

"ah sorry hyung but its y/nnnnnn"

"thats not an excuse to FRIGGIN KILL ME Jimin!"

"i said I'm sorry hyung but come out meet y/n"

"wait but let me breaTHsjnxxn hoBIII"

"GUYS CALM THE HECK DOWN YOU'RE SCARING HER" namjoon yelled.

wow

"umm we're really sorry. Please gimme a sec" and then he was like guys get the frick in or I'll personally kick your asses to the moon and it was supposed to be a whisper but you heard it lolol

So you're standing there like.. ok hi nice to meet you all Im y/n and wait how exactly do you know my name again???

"Jungkook talks so muc-"

"aaAAAHHHA BBBBSHHH ye ye i told them about you haha ye ye that's why they know" and he's like furiously sweating and stuttering and you're like waah ok ok calm down I don't want you having a heart attack or something good god

"Anyways, hi I'm Namjoon and I'm a friend of Kookie here" he smiles and OH THOSE GOOD FREAKING DIMPLES SOMEONE DROWN ME IN THEM

"kindly ignore these savages here" and you find that really funny so you're like "lolol that's fine XD XD haha" and smiling and all

The rest of them introduce themselves and by the end, your name just sounds unreal because of all the "hey I'm y/n"s and did i mention each of them is like.. a freaking living masterpiece?? and like so so sweet, except the Yoongi guy, he's a bit quite but you can't judge because you're like that most of the times too but you're an amazing person and so might be he .

then you ask them why they are here

"so actually, we're here because," he looks at Jungkook, "Jungkook is a coward."

"huh???"

"well you seem like a sweet girl and we decided we'd get Jungkook to ask you to hangout but he is of course a coward and thats why I had to pipe in to save him because Jungkook really likes you a lot an-"

"AAAAAAAAABABABA BALAKLAVA CHOCOLATE CAKE BANANA MILK yes hyung I'll handle this you leave" and he's just pushing all of them back in the van like a sack of potatoes despite their protests and then they just...take off??

What the-?

"ehh??"

"um..ijustwannaaskifyouwannahangoutsometimemaybeifyouwant" his eyes are closed and nose is crinkled and you just wanna SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH HIS GHADDAMNED FACE

"uh what?"

"i..i just wanna..askifyouwannahangoutsometime"

"umm?? Sorry could you please speak a tad slower??"

and he seems like he's suffocated now, like his ears are just red and sweating even more and honestly he's worrying you now

"dude you okay?? You seem really red. Here have some water" Dude. Yes. You're cool unlike those fanfic girlies with their blushing and stuttering. You're a complete badass actua-

He takes the bottle from your hand and gulps everything down and you're just like hey thats my water! but you gave it to him to drink so you can't really say anything

and okay he really seems like a fish who just got dropped in a bowl of water after being on land for 3 days

yea wait that won't work he'd die so like

he really seems like a fish who got dropped in water after being on land for like 3 minutes

So ok he seems human now

"yes you were saying?"

"Uh...do you..um.. would you wanna hangout sometime? If you're free that is.. only if you want to though" and he's like blushing a little and just so cute and you just nsndnfnfkwk

But you're also like OoO

"i-i mean d-dont worry its not like a date or anything i mean if you want it can be a date but i don't think you want that so like its just normal two people hanging out and its just like I really like you you're really cute and i just wanna hangout and just-" he takes a deep breath

"uhh.." you look down.

He just kinda confessed to you so you're kinda ?!?!?!?! right now but you also don't like dating and stuff because? Why would you waste your time on someone when in the end you're gonna just get your heart broken and like, yea that might not happen but you'd just rather sleep

But like, this weird voice at the back of your head says that you should go for it even though you're breaking your rules but like rules are made to be broken you know but you're also scared but you really don't wanna say no to him cos

well you kinda maybe a little bit like him ok?

"uumm.." your brain still can't form coherent sentences

"it's ok. Don't worry." He says and you look up and he has this sad expression and you're like NXNFFDND DON'T BE SAD PLEASE HEAR ME OUT but of course you say that in a more composed way

Ms. Composed lady

"no Jungkook that's not what i mean um.. actually.." so you explain how you think its a waste of time and stuff and you also explain that you really really really wanna get to know him more

"so..can you give me some time? Please?? So at least I can have you as a friend if you don't like me anymore later??" and he seems to be thinking and you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind

"I'll take you for ice-cream!!" and that seems to convince him

"and banana milk too??"

"sure"

And the sweetest little smile dawns on his lips and he's just nodding his head and you're just UwU

"but you finished all my water though."

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superblysubpar · 2 years ago

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Anyways. Idk if I'm even making sense, my smile is so wide it's blinding me. Signed. Sealed. Delivered. I'm yours. Teach me your ways you goddess. 🙏🏻💛

“Are you talking to a girrrrrl?” Gareth teases. Eddie let’s out a ‘tssss’ while he stands up and stretches, quirking a brow at his best friend.

“Is it a girl? You takin’ her out?” he asks again.

“Yeah G, it’s your mom,” he shrugs, “Night y’all.”

Oh my god these three. I love them. Want to marry them all 💛💛💛💛💛

Eddie’s too caught up in hiding his face, “Ugh, she’s cuuuute, Tati, what am I supposed to do?”

“Show her what she’s been missing,” Tati shrugs, “Everyone needs an Eddie.”

“Ed?”

I AM GIDDY. BOY LOVING MY ASS IN THOSE JEANS?! GOODBYE.

“I’m a teacher,” he replies, knocking back the remainder of the Guinness in his glass.

He beams back at you when you nod, “Atta girl.”

He doesn’t notice when your thighs clench.

“It’s fine, I’ll wait while you get your life figured out over there,” he jokes, checking ‘the time’ on his wrist, “Shouldn’t be too long until you finally get it.”

“Ooh, you like herrrr! I can tell! Look at your stupid face!” she laughs, pointing at him, bouncing on the cushions.

“I’m gonna marry her, or she’s gonna absolutely fuckin’ ruin my life.”

let's go, don't wait (e.m. x f!reader)

Jingle. Click. Creak.“Mmmm.” Eddie knows that groan anywhere, the deep primal urging of a one Gareth Emerson and the giggles of his girlfriend, Tatianna Edwards. They stumble into the apartment, lips attached, hands grabbing and fisting each other’s layers from the cold.